Sunday, August 8, 2010

You made your bed - now lie in it...............

I bet you didn't know that there have been times in my life when I have shown enormous physical strength.

(Now I know my BFF Carol and my Ickle Ditder Mandy read my blog, so you two -------STOP LAUGHING, IT'S TRUE!)

My late partner, Liam lived in his own house round the corner from mine. (Although we were a couple for 8 years, we could never decide whose house was best!)

We saw each other every day, his first visit here was usually around mid morning.

To be honest, neither of us had full physical abilities, so we would help each other with various chores. Both of us had good days and bad days, so sometimes jobs would wait 'til we were both having a good day.

I had been wanting to move my bed to clean beneath it for a couple of weeks. It's a double bed, with drawer space in the base.

One morning, I decided to start the job in the hope that Liam was having a good day by the time he arrived. I tried to move it myself, but it was too difficult for me to push.

LIAM: (as he came in the front door.) Where are you, Swamp?

ME: I'm up here! Come 'ere I want you.

LIAM: (chuckling) What for, is it my birthday?

ME: Look, just get yer arse up here, will you?

He ran up the stairs two at a time, remembering the time that I went up in the loft, accidentally kicked the ladder over, and got stuck up there for 2 hours!

When he got upstairs I was standing by my bed,waiting expectantly.

LIAM: Oh, so it IS my birthday.

ME: No, I need a hand.

He gave me a round of applause.

ME: Very funny. Can you help me to move the bed? I want to clean under it. I can't push it on my own.

LIAM: Can we do it later? My shoulder's giving me hell today.(I pulled a face). Is it just the bed that needs moving? It can't be that heavy.

ME: Well it is. The storage drawers are full of books.

LIAM: Take the books out then you daft 'apporth! I'll go down and put the kettle on.

How daft - I'd not thought of taking out the books!
I took out all the books. I gave the bed a push..............
Hurrah! I managed to move the bed.
Just as I was about to turn on the vacuum cleaner, Liam appeared at the door with my coffee.

He started laughing. He was laughing so much, he had to quickly plonk down the coffee, and he was squatting down on his haunches, wiping away the tears from his eyes with the heel of his hand.

LIAM: Do you know what, Swampy? I've said it before, and I'll say it again................. Sometimes I think that you're not quite right in the head!

I had no idea why he was laughing. I looked around me. It was then that I realised all of the books I had taken out of the drawers in the bed base were now sitting on top of the bed!

For more funny stories about Liam and Me, you may also like these posts...........

Laughter is the Best Medicine and Any Old Iron? but for the daftest tales of all see......


Be may need your Tena Lady!


winnibriggs said...

Well I've seen it all now, thought I was the only one that daft...Hee-hee!

Jewels and Finery said...

Priceless. Love it, thank you for making me laugh

Al the best Sue

VintageWantsNotNeeds said...

Thats a womans logic for you, mind over matter is a wonderful thing you daft bird.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious :)

Sandi said...

xxxxxx lots of them (kisses that is) I love your stories.