Ooooh, my dear bloggeroos, I'm so excited!
By now, I'm sure you've all realised I am a woman of many talents.
Even so, I am always eager to learn new skills.
These days, due to a health problem, I am unable to work.
I am drawing only a very small pension. I have even had to sell my collection of celebrity toenail clippings on eBay, (sorry son, I know I promised to leave them to you in my will, but needs must and all that.)
I toyed with the idea of standing under The Lincoln Stonebow with certain other ladies, offering my body to passing gentlemen, but I have to say I'm a bit past my sell by date, and 50p goes nowhere these days anyway.
(Have you seen the price of Tena Ladies lately?)
But never fear, my dear readers - I am always prepared to pull up my bootstraps and apply myself to bringing in extra money to fund my lavish lifestyle of cocoa, wagon wheels, and a pack of Golden Virginia.
I am speaking figuratively about pulling up my bootstraps, I can't physically do that - not with my back! But I am able to pull at the pompoms on my slippers, will that do?
Good grief, I'm waffling again, aren't I? Where was I?............oh yes, my idea for bringing in extra money.............
I was at the charity shop the other day and I found this book for 50p. (No, I'm not telling you where I got the 50p, but it didn't involve a bus ride to the Stonebow.)
I spent a whole 15 minutes reading this book, so obviously I am now a complete expert!
So I'm going to become a Fortune Teller - isn't that great?
For my next blogpost, I will be writing an introductory free horoscope.
I hope you will tell all your friends!
I am convinced that when you see how accurate my readings are - you will jump at the chance to buy a highly over-priced personal horoscope, and I'll then make a few quid.
Don't forget to pop back and see what the future holds in store for you!