Saturday, May 30, 2009

Devil or Angel? & What About Billy Fury?

Before I continue my saga about my meeting with Billy, I would like to thank my kind bloggeroos for their messages and awards. I don't think I've ever had a cold that made me feel so poorly or lasted that long before. (I will add the awards over the weekend when I will have sussed out how to add them etc!)

Where were we?..................Oh yes........

The Night I Met Billy Fury

The year was 1973, I was at The Flying Bowman Club at RAF Scampton. Billy Fury had had health problems and was now relaunching his career following a heart operation. This was in the wake of a new album and his appearance with David Essex in the film "That'll Be The Day."

I knew Nick the booking agent for the club and had asked him to get me an autograph.

So there we were, Sidesaddle Sally, Showalot Sharon, Legover Linda, and me.

We were all balancing our glasses of Babycham, puffing on our Player's No. 6, and dancing round our Freeman Hardy and Willis handbags that were arranged in a heap on the dance floor.

(God, we were sophisticated in those days, doncha think?)

Just as I was rearranging the pop socks inside my bra for the umpteeth time, Nick came out of the door that led to the dressing rooms and beckoned me me with a gentle

"Oi you! You with the black satin flared trousers !"

I ran over quite quickly and ladylike considering the huge platform shoes I was wearing.

Not only had Nick got me Billy's autograph, it was a signed photograph!

Now, it has been said in the past that I have neither tact or diplomacy as a character trait.

In my own defence, I will say that this is because both of my grandfathers were of good Yorkshire stock.

Yorkshire people are famous for their plain speaking, so, on seeing his photo I blurted out,

"Oh my God! What the hell's happened to his hair?"

It was really bouffant and he looked like Mrs Slocombe.

I was brought up to be polite and thanked Nick profusely and he told me Billy's hair was different in the flesh. I walked back over to me mates, holding his pic close to my heart.

Just as I'm about to join in bopping to a bit of Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, Nick reappears and beckons me again.

"Come with me, you can see for yourself, he would like to meet you!"

I followed Nick through the door and Billy was standing there, waiting. Yes! Waiting for ME!

Anyone will tell you that I'm not shy and certainly not known for blushing, (except for the time aged 9 that I curtsied during the Military Two Step at Dance Class and ripped me drawers!)

He was soooo gorgeous!

My face was flushed and my heart was beating so fast, I thought I would die.

"It's lovely to meet you," he said

I wanted to say, "It's lovely to meet you too, and your hair is great tonight"

What I actually said was, "Ner mer ner mer ner"

He smiled at me and gently took my hand. He had beautiful twinkly eyes and he laughed.

"I always find meeting someone new nerve wracking too. I won't bite, promise."He said

He made me feel so relaxed. Then he said, "You're a bit young to like my stuff."

So I explained about having older cousins and my liking for 50's and 60's music.

"What's your favourite?" he asked.

"Devil or Angel", I replied.

"Wow, I'm impressed. You DO know my music. Most people say "Halfway to Paradise"

We chatted a bit longer, I told him I liked his hairstyle.

He was lovely. so shy and unassuming. We said our goodbyes and he gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.

I knew, even then, that I would never forget meeting him.

I joined me mates. Billy came on stage.

After a few songs, he looked out across the audience. He had his hand up to his eyes against the glare of the spotlight.

"I met a lovely young lady here tonight, and this song is for her. Where are you, Sue?"

I was jumping up and down. "I'm here Billy, I'm here!"

He sang "Devil or Angel" all the time looking out at me. He made me feel so special.

Sadly, Billy died in 1983, aged 42. I will never forget him.

A few years ago I went to see a tribute night to Billy Fury. The chap singing was excellent and sounded quite like Billy. As good as this soundalike was, no- one could ever match Billy's charisma or stage presence.

Friday, May 29, 2009

I've still got the "Gormy Ruttles"!

I'm still feeling quite poorly, so Billy's tale will still have to wait.

Thank you for your Get Well messages.. It's not easy to get your thoughts in order through the "Night Nurse" medicine, but I thought I'd just pass on some news.........................

First piece of news.........

The beautiful lady in the pic is my lovely Mumsie with her 3rd great grandchild, Harley, my sister's grandson.

But there's going to be another great grandchild for her and Daddio, as my DIL is expecting another baby in January.

I'm so excited as this will be my third grandchild. (I should point out that I'm not really old enough to be a Nanna, but I was a child bride ;O) )

Second piece of news..........

Some of you know that my partner Liam died from cancer 7 months ago. Although we had been together for 8 years, we each had our own houses round the corner from each other.

We have had his house up for sale for only 3 weeks and it has now Sold Subject to Contract.

I do hope the sale goes through.

The last year has been the hardest thing in my life to go through. He was only diagnosed 4 months before his death, and was only really ill for the last week of his life.

He used to be an Entertainer, singing and playing guitar, and he was so very funny. Everywhere he went, people loved him.

We never stopped laughing, and he was still making me laugh just days before he went. I loved him so very much and I know that I will never stop missing him.

I do think that my tales are inspired by him - I start to type my blog post and it really feels that someone's taken over.

I just know that he would love me to tell you sometime about the tales of his imaginery friend, a tiny Fillapino lady who he pretended lived with him. He called her "Meeso", surname "Hornie."

So, I'll be back when my Chuckle Muscle is working again. In the meantime I hope you enjoy my choice of music. Both of these songs always cheer me up!

Back Soon!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

OMG I feel really rough!

This is NOT a picture of me. But it'll give you an idea how rough I'm feeling.

I never catch a cold usually, but I fear that I'm suffering from the "Gormy Ruttles." (Before you hit googlesearch, this is the name we use in our family when suffering from any illness of unknown origin.)

I suspect my body is reacting to the new hairdo. I won't post a pic til my nose stops running. Errrrrhew!

Most of my life I have had long hair, but just for a change, I've had it cut really short.

I feel naked.

My family all love it, and say I look like this.........

But I really feel like this................

I'll continue my Billy Fury story when I'm feeling better.

What do you think of the male nurse they've sent me?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Halfway to Paradise - The Night I met Billy Fury!


I've always liked Billy Fury. I have 24 first cousins, most of whom are older than me, so when I was growing up I was surrounded by the pop music from the late fifties and early sixties.

The only musicians that had more records in the UK charts than Billy in the 60's were The Beatles, Cliff Richard, and Elvis.

Billy was also from Liverpool, and was part of what was called The Merseybeat sound. He was in good company. The Beatles, Cilla Black and Gerry and the Pacemakers all came from Liverpool. (The Mersey is the river that runs through Liverpool.)

Billy had had Rheumatic Fever as a child. This had left him with heart problems. In the early 70's he had to have a heart operatiion.


In 1973, Billy was in the process of relaunching his career. He had just appeared in the film "Stardust" with David Essex and Ringo Starr. I was 17 years old.


RAF Scampton was a training base for new recruits in those days. (Scampton is about 4 miles outside Lincoln.) They had a fantastic Dance Hall on camp, and they always had some really well known bands and singers booked to perform every Saturday night.


Can you believe this? To make sure the young RAF lads were happy, the RAF organised two free buses from Lincoln, and shipped us girls out to the camp each week. We also received a voucher for a FREE Babycham. (See I told you I know a lot about Social History!)

The Birdmobile


We would turn up every weekend to check out the new recruits. There were always the same two airforce guys on the door. One of them was called Nick, he was a bit sweet on me and always gave me an extra Babycham Voucher. Nick also booked the acts and looked after the stars.

One particular Saturday we all turned up, eager to see Billy. My crowd consisted of Sidesaddle Sally, Showalot Sharon, Legover Linda, and me.

(My nickname was Sock-it-to-'em Sue 'cos I had no boobs and augmented my "fried egg" bosom with a pair of socks placed inside my 30AA training bra.)

Nick and I would share some flirty banter, such as "Hey up 'Fungus Face'" (me to him.) and

he would retort stuff like

"Was the Hairdresser closed this week, Tatty Head?"

"When are you gonna let me be the father to your future children?"


"That skirt would look lovely on my bedroom floor."

I'd say stuff like, "There's a queue for my affections, and you're NOT in it."

This week I restrained myself, and said nice things like, "Oooh your Hai Karate Aftershave smells gorgeous."

"Nick, sweetie," I says, fluttering my eyes so much, I nearly lost me falsies (eyelashes!)

"Would you be able to get me Billy's autograph?"

"I'll do my best," says Nick.

There was a DJ that played records during the early part of the evening. We danced to such classics as

"Cum on Feel The Noize" by Slade

"See my Baby Jive" by Wizzard

"Farewell is a Lonely Sound" Jimmy Ruffin

So there we were the 4 of us, dancing round our handbags.

I looked over my shoulder and there's Nick beckoning me over.

"Come with me," he says


(To be continued.............................)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Let Me Entertain Loo! (Robbie Williams' Toilet)


Yes! Yes! Yes! I will tell the story of sitting on Robbie Williams toilet. I fear this tale may lead to disappointment, cos it's not nearly as hysterical as many of my stories.

The year was 2000 and I was working for Lincolnshire Tourism. The main part of my job was to promote our county by way of publications, organising competitions, and attending trade shows etc.

I've already mentioned that my job during the previous 10 years was as a Promotions Co-ordinator on our local newspaper. I could throw up a Marquee, rush a promo flag up a flag pole, and lay out a display table in 10 minutes flat. This made me first choice whenever Lincs Tourism attended promo events.

Two other attributes needed for this kind of work is:

Being able to survive on a diet of Hot Dogs, Soggy Chips, Roast Pork Rolls, and Bacon Butties

Being able to wait to go for a wee for at least 6 hours. (Now you know why my bladder's so well trained and no need for Tena Lady pads!)

The promotion business seems to have a sub-culture all of its own, and over the years I made many friends from all types of business, particularly in the local media.

There were journalists from rival newspapers.

Reporters and camera men from local radio and regional television.

I was fronting some event or other at the Newark Showground just outside Lincoln. I was taking a well earned break, and having a walk round when I bumped into the two lads from BBC Midlands.

They were standing outside a marquee. Inside there was the toilet shown below.

Robbie had donated the toilet when he was having his house renovated. The marquee was travelling all over the country, at various showsetc. Robbie fans could sit on it (with the lid down of course!) Each fan paid £1 and this was to go to charity.

There'd been a steady stream of fans all day, but wouldn't you know it - there were no takers when the TV boys wanted to start filming.

"Do us a favour Sue, I'm trying to drag a few folks over to make a queue, stand there a minute, will yer?"

"What, do I just stand here?"


So, he dragged a few more people and ran the camera for a couple of minutes.

"This is rubbish!" he said. "Let's do some inside."

So we followed them into the marquee. There were five young girls, plus me.

"Right, one of you lasses, sit on the toilet."

Each one stared up at the ceiling shuffling uncomfortably.

"Sue, show 'em what to do."

"I'm just showing them what do, right?"

"Er, yeah. 'Course."

So I sits on the toilet

"Right, girls!" I said "Nothing to it."

"Then what?" says the bravest of them.

So the interviewer says,

"Right, Sue. A dummy run, just to show 'em"

The interviewer shoves the mike up to me gob and asks,

"So, Sue. How long have you been a fan of Robbie's?"

I go all giggly, (I'm acting here)

"Oooooooh! Absolutely ages"

The interviewer says

"How does it feel?"

"Oooooh, lovely! I feel so close to him."

(I should get an Oscar for this)

"Great, Sue. Thanks, the girls have got the idea now, off you go!"

At the end of my shift, I drive to Mr Dollytub's house. I thought that it would be a great joke to kid him that I was the one that would be on the news.

"Stick the telly on," I says. "I want see how my interview went today."

"What interview?" says Mr D. So I told him I'd been filmed on Robbie's toilet. He wasn't convinced, "Yeah, right...."

The presenter says, "Well viewers, you may think that it's the young girls who are Robbie fans, but one of our team met one of his, er, more mature fans at Newark Showground earlier today."

I can feel the colour creeping up my neck, my face burning.

I've only been seeing Mr DT for a few months.........................He'll think I'm a right Loony

He stares at me, his jaw drops. His looks at the telly, looks back at me.

He said, "Yer know what?"

"What?", says I

"You're not right in the head, do yer know that?"

And he never mentioned it again.

On my next blog post I will tell you how I went "Halfway to Paradise" with Billy Fury.

(If you don't know who he is - your homework for tonight is to "google" him!)



Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Cath Kidston Bag - and the Winner is................

Thank you, my dear Bloggeroos for your entries into my recent giveaway.

Unfortunately, no-one guessed the correct answer.

Before you all start crying and wearing that upside down smile that you think makes you look cute.

I have decided to choose a winner for the Cath Kidston bag from ALL the comments from that day.

So I 'phoned Daddio and asked him to give me any number between 1 - 15.


ME: No Dad, between one and fifteen.

DADDIO: Oh sorry, I thought you said one and fifty.

ME: Try again.

DADDIO: Number twelve.

NUMBER TWELVE COMMENT WAS MADE BY .......................


So Congratulations Hazel! Please email me with your surname and address.

The answer was Number 3:

"I once ran up the High Street with Jimmy Saville" was the untrue statement.

I did run alongside him, but along the Waterside. I was his 'Minder' for the day as part of my job.

In the 1990's I worked as a Promotions Co-ordinator for the Lincolnshire Echo.

Such an interesting and varied job. No two days were alike - I loved it so much, every day I actually looked forward to going to work!

Explanations of some of the TRUE statements:

1. I once met Willie Nelson in a lift. (He was visiting the Echo offices)

2. I sat on Santa's knee at age 33 - perk of the job as an Elf

(The Echo ran Santa Roadshows throughout the County)

4. I can't ride a bike.

5. I met Billy Fury in 1973. (This quite a long explanation, so I'll save this for a future post)

6. In the 1970's I was invited to Sunday Lunch at a friend's house. This was actually a Sales Party for some cookware. The guy selling the pans was Danish and his previous job was as a Trapeze Artist

7. I sat on Robbie William's toilet. A true statement, but I'll also save this for a future post.

8. I've been Centrepage Spread. -The Echo launched a new edition, I was dressed as "Erica - the Echo Clown". To promote the event there was a two page centre spread with pics of me delivering the new edition.

9. Engaged 4 times, married once. (We'll draw a veil across that one for now!)

10. I don't drink alcohol because of the medication I take.



This story is completely true.............

Ickle Ditder (Little Sister age 48) had organised a night out for her and her colleagues.

She had bought herself some new perfume, Lulu by Guiness.

Now, I don't know if you're familiar with this scent, but it's lovely.

One of her workmates, a young lad in his 20's found it particularly appealing. So much so that all evening he kept standing next to her just so he could enjoy the aroma.

As the evening wore on, after a couple of pints, he tried to get even closer and started to nuzzle into her neck.

There was a live band playing and at exactly the same moment that the song ended, the silence in the room was broken by Ickle Ditder shouting at the top of her her voice.................

"For God's sake - Stop sniffing my LULU!"

Back tomorrow!

Monday, May 18, 2009


Before we go on with the continuing saga of the Friendship Cake, a last call and a reminder of the giveaway I am doing for a Cath Kidston Tesco Shopper Bag. Entries by tomorrow, Tuesday 9 a.m.

Which one of the following statements is untrue:

1.I once met Country Singer Willie Nelson in a lift
2.I sat on Santa's knee when I was 33 years old
3.I ran up Lincoln High street with Jimmy Saville
4.I can't ride a bicycle
5.I met Billy Fury when I was 17 years old
6.I once had lunch with a Danish trapeze artist
7.I sat on Robbie William's toilet
8.I have had my photo on a Centre page spread
9.I have been engaged 4 times, but married only once
10.Except for Christmas Lunch and Weddings I never drink alcohol

Leave your guess number in comments, winner to be announced tomorrow. Be careful, the other 9 statements are true!


Where were we?...............Ah yes, I remember

So...........Eldest Son had found me a paper bag for my hyperventilating. I'm calming down (a bit)

The phone rang, Mumsie said she was on her way round.

EFFECTS: Wonder Woman Theme Tune playing in the background.

Did I tell you Mumsie's my Hero?

Mumsie arrives on my doorstep, she had run all the way from 3 streets away.

As she stops, there is the noise of brakes screeching because behind her, she is dragging her trusty old shopping bag on wheels.

She has brought with her six mixing bowls, 17 cake tins, extra flour, dried fruit, 3lbs of best butter, half a bottle of brandy. (The brandy is for me.)

She also has her large wooden spoon. (The one with the "Go Faster" stripes.)

Within 20 minutes, Peace rules supreme!

So, Mumsie had rolled up her sleeves, emptied my freezer of all the out of date stuff, and has divided the Blob into workable sizes. She puts 3 lots of the Blob into the freezer as we realise it's one way to curtail its growth.

Mum shouts over the garden walls to all of me neighbours.

"We have an Emergency situation, please preheat your ovens to Gas mark 4 - NOW!"

A couple of points here...................

No-one says No to Mumsie, many have tried believe me.

If Mum had been partnered to Winston Churchill in 1939, the War would have been over by Christmas!

We managed to make and bake 6 cakes. We also discovered that the Blob also stopped growing when subjected to 140 degrees Centigrade.

We made an assortment - some with dried fruit, some plain, and some with buttercream.

Luckily I lived only four doors away from the school, so I loaded up the pushchair and delivered them to the PTA Commitee.

To say that the the "A" lister Mums were impressed would have been an understatement.

They made comments like:




"What IS that she's wearing?"

I placed the cakes on the table, a proud lump in my throat and tears of joy in my eyes.

I had also taken a present for Felicity Understairs-Cupboard

I wonder if you can guess what it was?

Last time I saw her, she was in a very sorry state and had put on loads of weight from all that cake!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Part Three - The Quatermass Experiment

Sunday Postscript: I am taking a break from my blogging today, Back Tomorrow!


So, there I was back at my house, trying to remember where the kitchen was, so that I could make a start on the "Friendship Cakes"
First things first - "Where's me pinny?" I asked my little boys.

YOUNGEST SON: What's a pinny?
ELDEST SON, (To his brother): It's what Dad wears to keep his shell suit clean when he's cooking our dinner. (To me): Don't use Dad's he'll be awfully cross if you ruin it. It took him ages to sew all those sequins on to it.

1980's Shellsuit

ELDEST SON: Where and when did you last have it?

ME: If I knew that I'd go get it!

ELDEST SON: That's what you usually say to me when I can't find something.

ME: OK, Smart Mouth, I'll go look for it!

Ah, I remembered the last time I wore it..................

June 1977, The Queen's Silver Jubilee Street Party!

Up in the spare room I finally tracked it down.

By this time, the frozen Blob had started to thaw, and I could've sworn it had tripled in size already.

This didn't worry me. After all, I did intend to make at least 4 cakes, so I saw that as a good start.

It had a very strong yeasty smell, and by the time I'd found two large mixing bowls and sent the boys round to borrow more bowls from my neighbours, it had tripled in size, yet again!.

Undeterred, I ran outside and retrieved the boys' inflatable paddling pool, and dragged it through to the kitchen. I chucked loads of the mixture into it.

I rang Maggie's house................................

"Hello, sorry we can't take your call at the moment, we're in Skeggy. please leave your message after the tone. We'll call you back next Thursday"

GULP! Thursday? This sad sorry mess could be down the street and covering the Park by then.

I 'phoned Mum, (as yer do in these circumstances.)

"Mumsie, help me, please................"

After she finally stopped laughing, she asked to speak to Eldest Son.

"Right Lad," she said, "Get the largest paper bag you can find."

"Nanny, this cake stuff is EVERYWHERE. It won't fit in a paper bag."

MUMSIE: "It's not for the cake, it's for your Mum. She needs to breathe in and out of it, she's hyperventilating. I'll ring back in 5 minutes."

I'm afraid that's it for today, my Dear Bloggeroos. You have no idea how much re-living these memories are affecting me.................. it gave me terrible nightmares last night!

More tomorrow!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Part Two - The Quatermass Experiment

Dear Bloggeroos, You may remember that yesterday I began The Tale of the Friendship Cake, and so, the story continues..................

So, I finally arrived at Maggie's house, luckily I had not forgotten to bring a few links of Best Lincolnshire Sage sausages.

These were thrown over her security gates to distract "Killer" and "Butch", two of Maggie's
ferocious guard dogs.

So my plan worked, they were eating out of my hand...............


With the dogs taken care of, I now only needed to get past "Leo". I had brought a tin of "Whiskas", but it was obviously not his favourite flavour.

Luckily I managed to fend him off with the After Eight Mints that I'd brought with me.

Maggie was not happy about this, after all they were supposed to have been for her.

Although she was over the moon that I'd brought my trusty old Space Hopper, and before you could say "knife", she whipped it off me, and went bouncing down the garden.

Her orchard backs onto Asda's Car Park, and luckily they were in the process of taking a toilet roll delivery so she had a soft landing.

By the time she'd got back, I'd made a pot of tea, and opened a couple of Waggon Wheels.

"I hope it's not next weekend that you're wanting the cake for, I've just won £300 at Bingo. Me and the Old Man are going to "Skeggy" for a few days."

"Oh, Maggie, you can't leave me in the lurch like this, what'll I do?"

I had not felt so disappointed since 1968.

That was the year that dear old Daddio used the Blancmange I'd made to stick up the polystyrene ceiling tiles in the kitchen.

Admittedly, the Blancmange was moving about much more than it should have been. (This would be hilarious if it wasn't true. I'm seriously not making that up!)

(You see how versatile my writing style can be?

Pathos and a little bit of Social History thrown in too!)

"How many cakes do you want?" she asked

"Well, I thought a nice round number. Four?"

(I said this as Mrs Felicity Understairs-Cupboard, or whatever her name was, only usually baked three. Obviously, it was important to me to get one up on her!)

Maggie sighed, "Do you think my Kenwood Mixer is jet propelled?"

I just stood there, mouth turned down like a banana on its side.

"Fear not, oh Susie me old friend," She said with a smile, "I've got just the thing!"

She beckoned me into her Pantry and opened the freezer. The she pulled out a large frozen blob from behind her buckets of "Haagendas"

"You can make some with this" she said, tapping the side of her nose and winking.

"Oh, you know I can't bake, Maggie" I protested, "You know I've already been reported to the R.S.P.C.O." (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ovens.)

And anyway, there didn't seem enough of the blob to make four cakes.

"This is a starter for a Friendship Cake Mix."

"Absolutely Idiot Proof, Anyone can make it."

OK you lot, stop sniggering or I won't tell you what happened next.......

So, I bundled the Blob along with these written instructions into my *Cath Kidston Tesco bag.

*(See Mondays blog post and have a go in my competition to win one of your own!)

  • Every second day, stir in 2 cups of sugar, 1 cup of milk, 1 cup of flour. After four days, the mixture will have increased enough to split into 4 lots
  • Give 2 to Friends, put 1 in the freezer, the 4th mix is then held back as a starter for your next lot.

I jumped up from my seat, full of hope, optimism, and Waggon Wheels.

Leaping over the security gates, I ran off like a young Lara Croft.

What would happen once I reached the posh side of town?