Part Two - The Quatermass Experiment

Dear Bloggeroos, You may remember that yesterday I began The Tale of the Friendship Cake, and so, the story continues..................

So, I finally arrived at Maggie's house, luckily I had not forgotten to bring a few links of Best Lincolnshire Sage sausages.

These were thrown over her security gates to distract "Killer" and "Butch", two of Maggie's
ferocious guard dogs.

So my plan worked, they were eating out of my hand...............

literally.

With the dogs taken care of, I now only needed to get past "Leo". I had brought a tin of "Whiskas", but it was obviously not his favourite flavour.

Luckily I managed to fend him off with the After Eight Mints that I'd brought with me.

Maggie was not happy about this, after all they were supposed to have been for her.

Although she was over the moon that I'd brought my trusty old Space Hopper, and before you could say "knife", she whipped it off me, and went bouncing down the garden.

Her orchard backs onto Asda's Car Park, and luckily they were in the process of taking a toilet roll delivery so she had a soft landing.

By the time she'd got back, I'd made a pot of tea, and opened a couple of Waggon Wheels.

"I hope it's not next weekend that you're wanting the cake for, I've just won £300 at Bingo. Me and the Old Man are going to "Skeggy" for a few days."

"Oh, Maggie, you can't leave me in the lurch like this, what'll I do?"

I had not felt so disappointed since 1968.

That was the year that dear old Daddio used the Blancmange I'd made to stick up the polystyrene ceiling tiles in the kitchen.

Admittedly, the Blancmange was moving about much more than it should have been. (This would be hilarious if it wasn't true. I'm seriously not making that up!)

(You see how versatile my writing style can be?

Pathos and a little bit of Social History thrown in too!)

"How many cakes do you want?" she asked

"Well, I thought a nice round number. Four?"

(I said this as Mrs Felicity Understairs-Cupboard, or whatever her name was, only usually baked three. Obviously, it was important to me to get one up on her!)

Maggie sighed, "Do you think my Kenwood Mixer is jet propelled?"

I just stood there, mouth turned down like a banana on its side.

"Fear not, oh Susie me old friend," She said with a smile, "I've got just the thing!"

She beckoned me into her Pantry and opened the freezer. The she pulled out a large frozen blob from behind her buckets of "Haagendas"

"You can make some with this" she said, tapping the side of her nose and winking.

"Oh, you know I can't bake, Maggie" I protested, "You know I've already been reported to the R.S.P.C.O." (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ovens.)

And anyway, there didn't seem enough of the blob to make four cakes.

"This is a starter for a Friendship Cake Mix."

"Absolutely Idiot Proof, Anyone can make it."

OK you lot, stop sniggering or I won't tell you what happened next.......

So, I bundled the Blob along with these written instructions into my *Cath Kidston Tesco bag.

*(See Mondays blog post and have a go in my competition to win one of your own!)

• Every second day, stir in 2 cups of sugar, 1 cup of milk, 1 cup of flour. After four days, the mixture will have increased enough to split into 4 lots
• Give 2 to Friends, put 1 in the freezer, the 4th mix is then held back as a starter for your next lot.

I jumped up from my seat, full of hope, optimism, and Waggon Wheels.

Leaping over the security gates, I ran off like a young Lara Croft.

What would happen once I reached the posh side of town?

CHECK BACK TOMORROW TO DISCOVER WHAT HAPPENED IN MY KITCHEN WHILST MY BACK WAS TURNED!