Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear?.......................

Hello my dear Bloggeroos!

I hope you are all well.

Today, I have a tale from my childhood. It's about Mumsie's attempt to reproduce my Nanna's recipe for "Pineapple Surprise."

I was going to call this blogpost "Pudding on the Agony."

But that would be toooooo daft. Even for me!

(Imagine now, if you will, that the screen is going swirly, the world is in black and white, and Perry Como is crooning quietly on the radio.....)

Now I've got you zoned in, I'll begin..................

My Nanna was a wonderful woman, if not a bit fierce!

She had a hard life.

She married a man much older than herself, so she was widowed at 55, and left to bring up eight children single handed.

She was a fantastic and VERY resourceful cook. She worked quickly and methodically.

(My Dad told me that he often wondered if Nanna had once worked in a casino as she buttered the bread and threw it around to each person's plate so fast!)

Nanna really loved her food, she was an enormous woman; almost 6 feet tall and she weighed over 20 stone (280lbs).

We all loved her and miss her to this day, but..............

she could be quite sharp............and..............

we were scared to death of her!

She was particularly fond of desserts and puddings.

During the War, Lincolnshire was home to many American airmen.

One of my Aunties was a very stunning young woman and made friends with some of them.

I don't know how many, but let's just say she never ran out of nylons!

These delightful young men, had a very strange habit of also handing out various treats to the local beauties, such as sweets, jars of jam, and, of all things, tins of Pineapple Chunks!

Obviously, they were gratefully received, but one tin of Pineapple Chunks didn't go far between an adult and eight children, so Nanna came up with a recipe of Pineapple Surprise.

She would make up a HUGE load of Bird's custard made with evaporated milk and pour in the pineapple chunks.

The "surprise" bit was if you actually managed to find a piece of the delicious fruit!

"Surprise - I got one!"

It became a family favourite.

Over the years, as the rationing ended and more of the children left home - there would be far more pineapple and much less custard!

By 1963, when I was a little girl the recipe amounts were now about half and half.

One day, Mumsie put a large glass serving dish on the table, and proudly announced that she had made us all "Pineapple Surprise."

Nanna had come for Tea that day. She sighed heavily, leaned across the table and started shoving the bits of pineapple around with the serving spoon, as if checking for an unexploded bomb.

Nanna: (sucking some of the custard of the spoon.)You didn't ask me for the recipe, did you?

Mumsie: (indignantly.) Pineapple, custard......How hard can it be?

Nanna: Have you ACTUALLY tasted it?

(She held out the spoon.)

Mumsie: Errrr.....no...... (she had a little taste.) Oooh 'eck! It tastes nothing like yours. What have I done wrong?

Nanna: Did you make up the custard with evaporated milk?

Mumsie: (nodding her head vigorously) Of course I did!

Nanna: How did you make up the milk........exactly?

Mumsie: With water......how it said to do it on the milk tin.

Nanna: You didn't make it up with the pineapple juice?

Mumsie: Errr.......no. Was I supposed to?

Nanna: Yep!

Mumsie: Oooops.................I drank it!

Nanna: Ooooh our Aud - you're such a greedy bitch!

(Then she smiled and added,)

Still, that's NO surprise!

***************

I'm still very hit and miss with my postings. I've still got things going on here.

Tomorrow, I'm having a new loft hatch put in.

That'll get rid of the last of my clutter with any luck!

The Von Trapp Family.......but without the singing!

Hello, my dear Bloggeroos!

I had a lovely time over the Lincolnshire coast on my little jaunt with my family, a few weeks ago.

All the kids really enjoyed it. Two of my granddaughters, Hollie and Eve love just "being cousins" together.

***********

We've had some fair bits of excitement in my extended family too. My niece, Laura is getting married on Saturday. The other bit of news is that Emily, her sister is moving back up to Lincoln from Wiltshire next week.

There's a definite buzz up at Mum and Dad's (a.k.a. Headquarters.)

This is where the Von Trapp Family mention comes into my post today...............

Due to the size of our large family there are six, yes that's six, pageboys.

Because the wedding party is getting dressed at my sister Mandy's house, all the pageboy outfits and three of the matching bridesmaids dresses are all pressed ready, hanging all along the picture rail.

According to Mandy, it looks like a row of the "curtain outfits" from the Sound of Music!

My son Phil, Claire and their kids Hollie and Jayden are here for the wedding and are staying at my house for the weekend.

Jayden, my grandson, is becoming a bit of a monkey these days. I've just seen on his mum's facebook page, that he might as well sleep and eat all his meals on the "Naughty Step" as he's spending so much time there!

I've swept mine ready for him!

Oh, but he's such a cooooool dude!

He's not quite getting the idea of the toilet training either........................

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before I go, I've got one of my funny stories to tell you.

It is completely true...............

.............

Some of you may remember that I use to work as a Promotions Girl for our local newspaper.

One of our regular jobs was doing Pub Fun Nights at various pubs across the county, promoting the Echo.

There were three of us, Tanya, Tina, and me.

Tanya, Me, Tina 1996

We are sitting down in the above pic, but we made quite a rare bunch.

Tanya is over 6 feet tall, I'm 5'4", Tina's about 5 feet.

When we were performing, those old enough to remember would comment that the pair of them looked like Hylda Baker and Cynthia...........

Tanya's a very laid back sort of person, and she has a very slow, and subtle wit...........

One evening the three of us were driving down Lincoln High Street in the Echo van.

As we went past the local Ritz Theatre, Tanya piped up...................

"Oh! I didn't know The Chippendales" were on tonight."

"Don't be daft, they're not, are they?" I asked.

". Yeah, I think so," she said, pointing "Look!"

Tina and I looked, and then we saw the poster she was pointing to....................

I hope that made you smile!

Back soon.................

I'm Sue and I'm a Clutterholic................

Hello my dear Bloggeroos!

Last time I posted, you may remember that I was about to tackle all the clutter in my dining room. This was stuff that was formerly stacked in a (very) small room at the bottom of my stairs. (I call this room the "ex-toilet" owing to the original use of this space years ago.)

This was necessary to make some space for my recent freezer acquisition.

Well..................

I'm sure you can imagine just how much clutter there was, as I've not been around Blogland for ages!

Where did I get all this rubbish?

Did fairies and elves shove unwanted items in there?

I was obviously elsewhere, counting my money, eating Waggon Wheels, or sorting out the vowels in my Alphabet Soup?

Well............it's NOT THERE NOW!

OMG, I haven't been so miserable since I worked in the Clock Factory.............

....when all I did was make faces all day :O)

Some of the things I've chucked out included..............

1. Two huge piles of newspapers. (Isn't that terrible about President Kennedy getting shot?)

2. Thirty two various TV Guides. (I see Elsie Tanner's got married again.)

I did keep a couple of my favourite Radio Times tho'

aaah....be still my beating heart!

4. An application form for the TV show "Hoarders."

5. Sixty seven cardboard boxes that I was SURE would come in useful some day

6. A book called "How to Make Furniture from Cardboard" (Maybe I should have kept it.)

7.My David Cassidy poster

I wondered where that'd got to!

8. A huge pile of clothes in sizes 8, 10, 12 and 14......

Needless to say I kept the size 16 and 18!

Sometimes you just have to be a realist :O(

9. A leaflet about a Night Class "How to be Organised." (Printed in 1995.)

I wonder if they still run this?

I am so pleased with myself, I've decide to reward myself with a little jaunt to the seaside with my lovely boys, their gorgeous wives, and my four scrummy grandchildren.

See you all soon...........

Beauty and the Yeast..........PART ONE

Hello my dear Bloggeroos!

I know that I promised a tale about my recent endeavour into the world of ........................

Breadmaking!

Now, before I tell you about the bread, it's worth repeating parts of a previous post for you to read.

This will give you an idea just how crap I have been at baking in the past.

...........................

The year was 1986.............

My boys were aged 4 and 7 and I had been bullied, (by the Playground Mafia,) into making some cakes for the PTA "Bring and Buy" stall.

In the nick of time, my friend, Maggie, had come to the rescue and given me a huge dollop of "Friendship Cake."

Now, I don't know if you're familiar with this cake, but basically.................

1. Someone gives you a bowl of what can only be described as "GOO."

2. You feed the goo every couple of days or so with cups full of flour and sugar.

3. This "feeds" the mixture until it triples in size.

4. You then split it into three. One lot you keep and carrying on feeding, one you bake, and the third part you give to a friend. (Who then "feeds" it, etc. etc.)

Well........I had the idea, that instead of giving any away, or baking any, I would just keep "feeding" it right up to the day the cakes were expected by the PTA. I could then make THREE cakes.

BIG MISTAKE!

(is that giggling I can hear?)

Before I knew where I was, the mixture had outgrown the kitchen.

It had a very strong yeasty smell, and I had used up 3 mixing bowls and several more belonging to the neighbours...................

I rushed outside,

.......and dragged the boys' paddling pool into the kitchen.

I chucked in loads of the mixture.

It was continuing to grow................

I 'phoned Mum,

(as yer do in these circumstances.)

"Mumsie, help me, please................"

After she finally stopped laughing, she asked to speak to Eldest Son, Ali.

"Right Lad," she said, "Get the largest paper bag you can find."

ALISTAIR: Nanny, this cake stuff is EVERYWHERE. It won't fit in a paper bag.

MUMSIE: It's not for the cake, it's for your Mum.

She needs to breathe in and out of it, she's hyperventilating. I'll be round in a minute.

EFFECTS: Wonder Woman Theme Tune playing in the background.

Mumsie arrived on my doorstep, she had run all the way from 3 streets away.

As she stopped, there was the noise of brakes screeching because behind her, she was dragging her trusty old shopping bag on wheels.

She has brought with her six mixing bowls, 17 cake tins, extra flour, dried fruit, and 3lbs of best butter.

She had half a bottle of brandy, too.

(The brandy was for me!)

She had brought her large wooden spoon.

(Like this one, but with "Go Faster" stripes.)

Within 20 minutes, Peace ruled supreme!

So, Mumsie had rolled up her sleeves, emptied my freezer of all the out of date stuff.

She divided the Goo into workable sizes.

She put 3 lots of the Goo into the freezer as we realise it's one way to curtail its growth.

Mum shouts over the garden walls to all of me neighbours.

"We have an Emergency situation, please preheat your ovens to Gas mark 4 - NOW!"

A couple of points here...................

No-one says "No" to Mumsie, many have tried believe me.

If Mum had been partnered to Winston Churchill in 1939,

the War would have been over by Christmas!

Altogether, we managed to make and bake 8 cakes.

(We also discovered that the Goo stopped growing when subjected to 140 degrees Centigrade.)

Luckily I lived only four doors away from the school, so I loaded up the old pram with cakes and delivered them to the PTA Committee.

To say that the the "A" lister Mums were impressed would have been an understatement.

They made comments like:

"WOW!"

"WELL DONE!"

and

"What IS that she's wearing?"

I placed the cakes on the table, a proud lump in my throat and tears of joy in my eyes.

But............................

............ I've had a phobia of anything yeast based ever since.

DON'T FORGET TO POP BACK FOR PART TWO, WILL YOU?