With more of your problem letters arriving each day, I sure have been keeping busy!
I decided to answer this letter, as the lady is having trouble with a particularly nasty habit of biting her nails. As this is a common problem, it may be of help to others who would like to know how to stop biting their nails too.
Dear Aunt Susie,
Ever since I was a little girl, I have bitten my nails. I've even seen a psychologist who thinks my problem stems from my Mum giving away my dummy when I was 18 months old.
I bite them so short, they are sore. I am getting married next year, so I am pleading with you to give some of your wonderful expert advice.
If you can't help me..........then I know that no-one can!
Yours sincerely
Judy Fingerends
**************
Dear Judy,
Oh, your poor thing! It just so happens that I too suffered with nail biting, so I am going to share my cure with you.
First of all, go around your neighbourhood and collect as many of these as you can
When you have gathered up all the babies in your street, line them up on your sofa. Then you have to feed them with loads of this................................
I recommend two tins for each baby.
Go off and do something useful, like nipping off to Bingo. Let nature take its course, and by the time you get back, you will have loads of these....................
Change every single nappy.
Here is the most important part of the plan....................................
.............................................................................
WHATEVER YOU DO, ON NO ACCOUNT WASH YOUR HANDS!
I bet the urge to bite your nails will soon vanish
Trust me, after a couple of weeks you will have nails like this...................
Your only problem now is................if you eat any chocolate pudding - you will be very careful, won't you?
Yours sincerely,
Aunt Susie
************
Before I go, I thought I would share this with you.
This genuinely came up as my verification word when I was leaving a comment on someone's blog.
Cheek!
7 comments:
My kids are all grown up now but I can heartily endorse this method of never sniffing your hands let alone biting your nails until they are about 18 and have left for uni or the army or a gap year in darkest Africa. You can then lie back sipping cocktails and smoking and hanging out with your pals and generally enjoying life as you did in your own early youth - except for the bother of a husband. Pls Ms Dolly - why don't they have a Gap year as well?
I won't tell you what the little darlings in my class do with their fingers allbeit to say they seem to enjoy it :)
Cate x
Oh yes, that is a sure way to stop nail biting, ewwww. Oh and yes to Vintage mum, yuck, yuck, yuck. I remember way back in state school, blah, blah, blah....and I stayed well away from her!!!!
Keep up the good work, you are helping many.
Hugs Sandi xx
oooh thank you ! I have a set of very sad looking nibbled nails ! My niece has had a baby so I'm going to try the nappy thing.
I thought of doing a whole post incorperating word verification words !
I like your style . I,l be back----cottonreel
Love this post!!! I don't think you ramble at all!!tehexxx
oh great... I just get rid of hte 4 year old to school and you want me to go out and find more sreamy things.... oh no! the nails are fine as they are! theres always falsies!
;D
I have an award for you over at mine if you'd like it!
hugs Alex
x
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