Saturday, May 22, 2010

Laughter REALLY is the Best Medicine

I originally uploaded this post a couple of days ago, but I got a very nasty comment from someone (anonymous of course) so I took it off my page.

However, I thought it best to reflect for a couple of days before deciding what to do, as I was very angry and upset.

My decision is is MY blog about MY life, so whoever you are - if you want a different blog..................


Before I begin, I genuinely apologise in advance if anyone really should be offended at any perceived lack of respect for such a serious subject.

Please understand that both Liam (my late partner) and myself have had to deal with some really awful events in our lives, both physically and emotionally.

One thing we always had in common was that we invariably resorted to humour as a way of coping with situations that would have otherwise been unbearable.

Some people resort to alcohol, some to drugs, some to other coping mechanisms. We used humour and the power of laughter.

To give an example of how our sometimes black sense of humour, helped us to cope and try to stand back from some things that happen in life, I will tell the following stories........

On the day Liam was to attend his first round of chemotherapy, of all the things he could have worried about, he couldn't decide what to wear.

He almost always wore a sweatshirt or t-shirt. It was a cool day, and as the nursing staff may have needed access to his veins, he finally decided to wear a long sleeved shirt with button cuffs.

"How do I look?" he asked.

I really couldn't have had my brain in gear when I replied, "Drop dead gorgeous!"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth - I wished I cut have cut out my tongue.

Realising the irony in my statement, he looked at me with mock sadness, exaggerating a pouty bottom lip and asked,

"Can I just be 'gorgeous' instead?"

We both fell about laughing!

In the car on the way there, I tried to apologise for being so insensitive.

He just smiled and said, "Don't worry about it, Swamp. It was really funny! I thought you were getting me back for when it was your turn at the Cancer Clinic a couple of years back."

We both started giggling at the memory of it........................

Over the years I have had four lumps in my right breast. None of them were anything sinister, thank goodness.

Obviously, whenever I find one, I go straight to the GPs, followed swiftly by an appointment with the Oncologist. (Three cheers for the National Health Service!)

I had an appointment at the Breast Clinic, (thinly disguised as a portacabin.) Never having been married, Liam wasn't very good at this sort of thing, but under protest he accompanied me.

When we arrived there, I could see that it really unnerved him. He'd not been prepared for seeing some very poorly ladies, some wearing headscarves, waiting for their check-ups.

He looked so uncomfortable, bless him, I began to wish that I'd not pressured him into coming with me.

We both tried to distract ourselves, pretending we were reading magazines. A nurse came out to the Waiting Room carrying one of those huge thermos flasks that dispense hot water, along with tea, coffee, milk, sugar and a plate of biscuits.

"I'm sorry we're running so late, please help yourselves." she announced.

Liam looked relieved, now he had something to do,

"D'you want a cup, Swamp? I'm having one."

"Yes please." I replied.

He made two cups of coffee and brought them back to our seat.

Drinking his coffee, he was smiling, trying very hard to stifle a laugh.

"Come on, out with it!" I said. "Something's tickled your chuckle muscle."

He whispered in my ear, "For a minute, I couldn't remember how much sugar you take. What a good job I didn't ask.......................................

'One lump or two?"

Oh, How I miss that NAUGHTY man!

I welcome your comments, even Mrs Anonymous. But I'm not removing this post and sorry if I offend.


KC'sCourt! said...

I never got to read the post the first time so I don't know what the comment said, but, I have been through chemo and radio therapy and yes you do need a hugmungous sense of humour to get through it all.

Jacquie said...

I love your blog and this sounds like my sense of houmour too.It's just a coping mechanism.
I can definitely see why you miss such a great soulmate.
Jacquie x

Jille said...

Never apologise for who you are. I always look forward to reading about your life and the things that you get up to, please keep up the good work!
Jille x

elegancemaison said...

Dear Dollytub, I didn't get to read the first time posting either - but want to encourage you to keep on blogging with your wacky sense of humour. I know how much sadness and grief lies behind. I think you are one of the bravest people I have known even if it only virtually through blogland. Medical staff from consultants down understand and partake in 'gallows humour'. How otherwise are we mere humans to cope with what the Universe throws at us, usually without warning and a great big slap in the face. Keep it up! We love you. Cx

Sandie's Patch said...

Good for you gal!
If we all quit just because of some bodys' comment,it would be very dull in Blogland wouln't it?
I keep getting comments in a foreign language and have to delete them because i can't risk publishing something I can't translate! (although I do wonder if it's Chinese as my pic of my Bobby dog shows he is a Shitzu, so maybe they are saying what a nice Shitzu dog you have!??)
Have a nice weekend love!
Sandie xx

Autumn Mist said...

I too couldn't read this the first time round, but I'm glad I have now! Having had a teenage daughter go through the trauma of cancer, who laughed with us at the most inopportune moments, I can honestly say I'm with you all the way on this one.

RosieP said...

Humour is a good way of dealing with stressful things if that's how it works for you,you should just ignore whoever it was that left you that comment, they're not worth worrying about, we lost my dad to a brain tumour 30 years ago, he used to make funny comments about his hair falling out, just his way of dealing with it.

Hugs to you

RosieP x

Menopausal musing said...

Your post had been deleted by the time I tried to open it. You are quite right, it is YOUR blog and you print whatever you want to in YOUR space. I for one love it.

topchelseagirl said...

Hey you can write whatever you want on your blog. If others don't like it they don't have to read it. Sounds like your sense of humour helped get you through terrible times.

Taz said...

Your blog, your rules ;)

I love hearing about you and Liam, you can feel the love you shared beaming off the screen (((hugs)))

bad penny said...

Just catching up Sue - sorry to hear you had an upsetting comment.
A blogging friend received some horrible comments a while back & I was horrified.
I wondered what I'd say if I got any & it's prety much what you said here.
They are always anonmous - very brave of them.
I love your humur & if what you said made Liam smile then it's a happy memory of him for you to keep.

I'm sure we can all be insensitive at times but criticising someone anonoumously on their blog is hardly produtive - whatever their reason.

Who Lives in a house like this? said...

Laughing really can make the most depressing situations funny! I remember my father having to have his leg amputated in the late 80's a visiting patient who had had the same operation made the joke 'at least when it comes to sex you've only got half a leg to get over' He sounds like he was a great tonic ;-)