Before I forget.............
On my last post, I asked you to see if you could spot anything written in it that you didn't think was true.
That bit about Seven of Nine being based on me was a lie.
I was based on her! (Honest!)
Some of you know that every Saturday Lunch, all the family meet up at my parents' house. (A.K.A. Headquarters.)
There's usually at least a dozen of us!
We have a lovely time, catching up on the gossip, and laughing 'til our sides hurt. Most weeks, there's always someone who tells a tale or does something daft.
Usually, it's Mumsie!
The funniest bit about this, is that she's not really trying to be funny. She just says daft things!
Last weekend, my niece was in Lincoln for the weekend. She brought her lovely little boy, Harley, with her.
My sister Mandy is his Nanny...............
MANDY: (to Harley) Tell Auntie Sue - what does your new motorbike do?
HARLEY (aged 18 months): Brum Brum. Neenah, neenah.
ME: Lovely! Who bought you that?
(Now, a little note here, because of the family dynamics and remarriages etc, all the "tinies" in our family have a full compliment of grandparents with some to spare, so we have had to be creative with their names, Grandma, Nanna, Nanny,Granny, Grandpa,"Granddad Lincoln" etc)
ME: Which Granddad?
MUMSIE:(answering for him) The deaf one.
HARLEY: (repeating Mum) Deaf one.
MANDY: Muuuuummmmmmmm! Don't say that! Harley might really call him that.
MUMSIE: Well, it won't matter if he does - he won't hear him, will he?
I suppose she's right!
I went in the living room to speak to Daddio...............
DADDIO: Oooh, I'm in trouble.
ME: What have you done this time?
MUMSIE: (shouting from the kitchen) Go on, you silly old sod! Tell her what you did.
DADDIO: Well, we were going to bed last night, and when I got to the bottom of the stairs, the stairlift was there. I thought your Mum had sent it down for me 'cos she keeps trying to get me to use the damn thing.
For goodness sake, Charlie. It's a stairlift, not a moon rocket
DADDIO: When I got upstairs, I couldn't find her. I looked in all the bedrooms, and looked in the bathroom. Couldn't find her. Then, I heard this banging noise downstairs. It was getting louder by the minute, so I went down.
Guess what I'd done?
ME: Nothing would surprise me!
DADDIO: I'd locked her out. She'd gone out to the downstairs loo and I'd locked her in the back porch. She was ever so mad!
I bet she was!
I've suggested he gets Mumsie one of these.................
But he daren't!
Mumsie seems to have a knack for getting locked in porches click here
More from my Problem letters next post!