Monday, September 13, 2010

The Trouble with Kids..........................


Hello my dear bloggerroos!

Once again my post bag is bursting with your letters. I read every one of them, and despair at the amount of suffering in the world - but that's husbands for you!

I receive many requests for advice about child rearing, so all of today's problems centre on child care.





I am, of course, considered an expert in childcare.

I have seen Mary Poppins three times. (The film, not the blog.)





I am also a follower of Spock.......................



No, no, no!
Not HIM!
.........

HIM............................



Far more logical!

On the topic of ears, I received an impassioned plea from one of my followers about the family trait of sticky out ears...................




Dear Mrs Gollum,

Oh how very unfortunate! First of all, don't make matters worse. When baby needs lifting from his cot- stop picking him up by his ears.

Have you tried this helpful ploy suitable for the whole family?............................




Best wishes
Aunt Susie

************

I've had an email from Mrs Bunn from the Baker's Shop. She is having trouble with her little boy picking his nose.................


Apart from stating the obvious, i.e. don't let him serve any customers in your shop.

I've always found this solution the best..........................



This cure also works for nail biting, and "that thing" little boys do inside their trousers!

************

Are you having trouble with sleepless nights?

Fun if you're a newly-wed. Not so great when it's your baby keeping you awake.

I can honestly say, hand on heart, I never had a sleepless night with my two lads.............



Do you see how easy bringing up baby can be?

Just use your common sense. Sometimes thinking "outside the box" can render an answer.

***************

Mrs Lott is having problems with her daughter, Mona.

Mona never stops complaining. She's also a cheeky little madam.

The ideal solution?




(It's no coincidence that when I worked as a Dental Assistant, I specialised in Orthodontics!)

And finally...............................

A bit of help for all those vegetarians Mums out there who are trying to convince their children to give up meat.

Subtlety is the key here. Whistling the theme to "Watership Down" whilst they're eating their tea isn't just cruel - it's ineffective.


Explain to them about Mad Cow Disease and why you don't want them to visit Macdonalds


If all else fails, when they ask for roast lamb, cover it in mash potato and serve like this.........

........................



I hope you Mums out there have found something useful in today's blogpost.

Remember, bringing up children is supposed to be fun.

They are little packages of love, sent to us from God..............................




It just doesn't always seem that way, does it?

7 comments:

RosieP said...

Very funny, I picked up a few good tips here, thanks.

Hugs RosieP x

bad penny said...

Well my mum was a real follower of Dr Spoc & did everything " By the Book " with her first .... I was her fourth - the book had gone out of the window by then !

A little brandy on achy gums of teething babies does the trick & a large brandy for aching parents quite medicinal too !

Give Moana Lott some quick dry putty & tell her it's a new flavour of chewing gum.

Autumn Mist said...

Oh Sue, if only I'd known you when I was bringing up my own children - things would have been so much simpler (and quieter!)

Shabby Anne said...

RFLMAO! Thanks Sue, your brightened my day.

Anonymous said...

GOLD!!!!! hehe

Sandi said...

My finger is quicker than my brain, that was my comment above. Maybe you could give me some advice to help me with that??
Hugs Sandi xx

michelle said...

I just love your Blog!!:)

Thanks for making me laugh again:)

Look forward to the next one!!
love
Michelle x