Monday, June 21, 2010

And Baby Makes Three, or Four, or even More!...........


Hello my dear sweet bloggeroos.
Before launching into my notions and observations on Family Planning, I would like to say that I was very touched by your kind comments on my previous post about my dear Mumsie. She is a great support to our family and also to her friends.

She is both loving and generous. She has never lost sight of the little girl inside her, and finds pleasure in the simple things.

Mumsie didn't have an easy childhood; her father was a strict Captain in the Salvation Army dying when she was only 13. Nanna went on to do a marvellous job of raising 7 children alone.

As you may have seen in my previous posts, Mum can also be a bit naughty and so very funny.

I'm pleased that I am able to convey her specialness and that you enjoyed reading about her.

(Oooooh, my eyes are leaking a bit here!)

Righty-o then - tissues down - Tena Lady at the ready?

Today, I thought I would tackle the delights of Family Planning..............

I have thoroughly researched the various methods for my dear readers, (nothing is too much trouble for you Sweet Darlings of mine!)

I must say, I was surprised at how much things have changed since I was still young enough to worry about such things.

Some things have changed a lot...................................

For instance:



"Jumping-up-and-down," and "100 jumps over your skipping rope" are no longer considered a reliable method, fancy that!

Such a well loved method of birth control right up to the early 1970's!

Then, of course, there's the Rhythm Method, so popular with many Roman Catholics. (Many, many, many Catholics, apparently!)

Although I never understood quite how this worked.

After you set this thing going, what next?





The Rhythm Method is also called your Safe Period, not to be confused with..................



The VERY Safe Period - The time in the day when a housewife invites in the tradesmen whilst hubby is out at work all day!


One change that I was pleased about was the Diaphragm





Yer see, we always referred to this as a "Dutch Cap".........................






and I always wondered where the pointy bit was supposed to go!


I was also pleased about changes with the "Coil"





The modern version gives none of the problems of the old metal coils.






They're now made of Plastic! Tsk, well - you live and learn!

Condoms...............................

Apart from preventing pregnancy, they also protect you from disease.

Unfortunately, they don't protect you from idiots!









A more recent addition to our list of choices is "The Cup".

I don't know much about this, but I think it's a lovely idea.........................................

I quite like this one!


(Does one keep hold of the handle?)


Next up is the Pill............



So many pills to pick from - I always chose the ones that were the best colour match to my shoes.


Once your family is complete, you may suggest to your other half that he has a vasectomy...





Some men don't fancy the "Snip". If he's reluctant, convince him by sticking this pic over your bed!




I hope you have found this post informative.

If you still can't decide on the right method for you, you can always pop in here.......




Or, if all else fails....................




Don't forget to pop by to Dollytub Cottage soon!

If you have enjoyed this post, you might also like these previous ones if you missed them.

You can read them by clicking on the links here:

Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore Art Thou - A Guide for the Modern Woman on Dating

What's in my Bag - An in-depth look into my handbag,

and don't forget to read these useful household hints and tips here..............




5 comments:

winnibriggs said...

I am finding typing this very difficult with tears streaming down my face but have to say you forgot the most reliable method of all...grow old!! Works wonders for me!!
Have a wonderful week, I will (keeps on chuckling)
Jenny x

Sandie's Patch said...

Tee hee! Now I want to pp!with laughing so much! Brings back memories, especially about the using of the Duth Cap....My ex partner and I were feeling a bit fruity to say the least and I'd not had a very good experience with the I.U.D (bl**dy coil),so whilst he's brushing his teeth, I got to grips with the coil or rather I didn't! I'd got it all lathered up with gel, assumed the insertion postion, squeezed it almost in half and the ruddy thing shot at Mach 1 to the ceiling and refused to come down! I was in absolute hysterics with laughing, needless to say, the best 'method' that night was abstinence!
Sandie xx

Sandie's Patch said...

Whoops! my last comment should have read,'Dutch cap' not Duth cap!

Sandie xx

Sandie's Patch said...

Whoops again! Should have read, Dutch cap instead of coil, perhaps I should get to bed now?
Sandie xx

Menopausal musing said...

Roared with laughter at this post. :O))))))))))))))