Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Touch of Glass...........

Oh dear! I had a bit of a calamity this morning.

As I mentioned before, occasionally when I visit my local Sainsbury's, I invariably join in the Rugby Scrum along with the other Old Biddies who are also looking for the marked down items in the Deli aisle.

I was feeling a bit worn out this morning because I decided to.............

clean the windows
do the ironing
change the bed covers
and have a general tidy up.

Please note, this only what I decided to do.

I didn't actually do any of the jobs.

Sometimes just the thought of what I should be doing is enough to tire me out.

So, anyway........................... er, what was I saying?

Oh yes, Asda's......

Not feeling up to participating in the geriatric ballet in Sainsbury's

I thought I'd go to Asda's instead

When I get out of my car to go shopping, I lift my specs and pop them on the top of my head.

If I leave them on, any writing on food labels looks like this..................


However, if I take them off and put them in my bag,

I can't find my way round the aisles.

I still shudder about the time I was telling a fellow shopper how good a particular tin of meat was, not realising I was in the Dog Food aisle!

(I didn't tell her that I'd made the same mistake the previous week and had actually bought a tin!

Aahh, but did I EAT it? Not telling!)

So, there I go as I'm walking round -

"Where's the aisle I want?" - specs down on my nose

"How many calories is this?"- specs up on my head

and so on.

I was bending down picking up some fizzy water, specs on top of my head.

When I stood up again


I hit my head on the trolley handle, and broke my glasses.

Thankfully I'd almost finished my shopping.

Even so, I'm still not quite able to carry on as normal.

So I've written this little song

It's sung to the tune of "Yesterday"

With apologies to Lennon and Mc Cartney

I’m sad today
All my bloggers seem so far away,
I broke my specs in Asda’s this fine day
They’re cracked and ruined
What dismay

They’re broke for good,
I can’t see as well as I once could
I’m even lost in my own neighbourhood
You’d cry for me,
You really would

Why I broke them there
I don’t know,
I couldn’t say
I felt lost inside
As I left the trolley bay, ay, ay,ay

Late today
I phoned the Specs chap just to hear him say
They’re past their best
And I will have to pay
I’m stoney broke
‘Til Saturday

I’ve no cash at all
'Cos I’ve spent it all away
I’ve bought so much stuff
So I’ll blame it on eBay, ay, ay, ay

Fade out

Anyway, I 'phoned up one of my pals, and she said I can borrow a pair of hers

I must dash - I've just realised that I parked at my neighbours house instead of my own, and she's just arrived home from work.

She's gonna be REEAAALLY mad

Not only am I using her computer

I've eaten all of her custard creams!


KC'sCourt! said...

Reading your blog has just really cheered me up!

Menopausal musing said...

Brilliantly funny! Thank you ........ :O)

Lavender hearts said...

hehehe, just made me laugh! Are they readin glasses because Tim's mum buys stacks of them on ebay pence (that'll be another poor sod cursing the day they listed them!). ;-)

VintageVicki said...

Sitting here chuckling at this post!!

Sal said...

I don't mean to laugh..(honest!) but I am rolling around! That was so funny!

Hope you have a better day today and...you get all that housework done!


Carey said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. You made me laugh so hard. LOve the pictures on this post. I am a gemini and as per my mom I have two personalities, hence my two distinct decorating loves. I have heard this for so many years I am starting to believe. Maybe I just like a lot of stuff, it may just be that simple.

La Vie en Rose said...

Oh my giddy godmother!!! You had me rolling at this. I think you must be my long lost sister. If all your posts are this hilarious I will have to read you on a daily basis.
Ta everso for the laff....

Autumn Mist said...

So funny, sorry. The screw regularly comes out of the arm of mine, and I have to hold them on my face while I rummage around for a spare pair. If mine broke completely I'd be as blind as a bat.