Friday, March 12, 2010

I'm Loving Angels Instead - Part Two

You may remember in my previous post, I mentioned that I need some practical help around the house now that I am a widow.

I placed a card in the Newsagent's window.......

Local widow seeks Handy Man, must be fit

Apply in person at

Dollytub Cottage

Imagine my surprise today when I heard a knock at the door, and there, standing before me was none other than..........

Brad Pitt

"Hello again, how lovely to see you," he whispered softly, grooming one eyebrow with a moistened finger.

"Oh it's you," I grunted. (Yes, I know he's DEFINITELY fit, but read on.......)

"What d'ya want? I'm a very busy woman you know. I've got potatoes to dust, and my clothes pegs to pair up."
(Did I mention I have leanings to obsessive compulsive disorder?)

He looked down at the floor and shuffled uncomfortably and said,

"I've just been talking to Legover-Linda in the newsagents and she pointed out your card in the window advertising for a Handy Man."

He looked up at me with his big puppy eyes.

(He had to look UP, he's only 4feet 10inches in real life, yer know.)

I told him as kindly as I could,

"Sorry, Brad, Ducky. I'd love to help you, I really would. I know how much babies drain your cash. But, I'm afraid I've not forgiven you for what happened last Summer."

He walked slowly back to my gate. He turned and blew me a kiss and whispered,
"I'm sorry."

So he should be!

I'm sure you'll agree when I tell you what he did to me last Summer.

Not many people know that when Brad is between filming, he earns extra money for his family by moonlighting as a refuse collector.

He was offered the job when Lincoln City Waste Management Department noticed that one of his costumes looked almost identical to the safety waistcoats worn by their operatives.

He obviously looked the part and after he'd passed his Refuse Operative's audition.
(Wolf whistling and shouting "Ello Darlin'") They set him on working with the lovely group of lads who empty the bins on my road.

One particular morning, it had taken me even longer to get bathed and dressed then usual. I'd not put my bin at the kerb.

I heard the truck coming up the street and ran out as fast as I could pulling the bin behind me..

"Cooooeeeeeeee!" I shouted, "What about me?"

Brad was riding on the step thing at the back and when he saw me running he banged on the side of the lorry so the driver stopped.

Before I knew what was happening, the lorry stopped, Brad pulled me up with one arm, stood me at the side of him on the step, and banged on the side again. The lorry sped up off up the road with me hanging on to Brad.

Not only was I scared for my life, I was speechless. (Yes! Really!)

"We'll drop you off at the Bus Stop, Luv." He shouted to me above the drone of the crusher.

I was nearly crying, "I don't want the Bus Stop. I'm supposed to be going to the Bingo."

"Even better" he said. "We're going back to the Depot now. We'll drop you off on the way."

The louder I protested, the more he seemed to smile and ignore me.

I wasn't even wearing a jacket.

Oh well, I'm here now, I thought.

I won all the bingo games that day. I stank so much, that as I walked in, everyone else went out.

The payouts were a bit low though.


Previous posts: about Legover-Linda Here


sinnlighet said...

Yes yes yes, your blog is just soooo wonderful and gives me a lot of energy!

A footprint from Sweden by Agneta

Anonymous said...

I don't know about obsessive disorders but me thinks you are on summat LOL!
You do make me laugh with your 'true' stories though.
Sandie (Sandie's Patch) xx

Kissed by an Angel said...

Hi Sue, thank you for your comments!! I thought I'd pop by and say hello!! I can see we are going to have a laugh together!! Next time you see Brad, ask him to pop over to me - our dustmen are not as helpful!!!

Kelly said...

LOL!! Thanks for visiting me and leaving a comment!
Not sure if my last comment posted so thought I'd leave another just oin case :)

Sandie's Patch said...

Thanks for dropping by Sue.
Sorry I made you so hungry...good job I didn't get the camera working of the loaves was humugous!

Sandie xx

Cally's Cottage said...

Just found your blog via 'kissed by an angel'.Leg over Linda made me howl with laughter...
Have a lovely week,
Cally x

Country Cottage Chic said...

Oh the search goes on....good help is so hard to find these days....