A Rose by any Other Name or How I ended up in a Mens' Prison for seven months

I wanted to write today about how the labels we use for ourselves and others can change peoples' perceptions.

I always wanted to be a Stay at Home Mum. Unfortunately, due to family circumstances, this wasn't an option, except when my boys were of pre-playgroup age.

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You would not believe some of the jobs I did to earn an honest crust!

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My checkered career included such delights as Shop Assistant, Car Valetter, and Childminding. Sometimes I had much more lucrative jobs such as working for Oriflame Skincare, (which in those days was sold by Party Plan,) and running my own business selling Ladies and Kids clothes.

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I also discovered a hidden talent as a Promotions Girl, promoting anything from Double Glazing to various "New Improved" food products .

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Yes! I was that Lady in Asda's, dressed like the "Little Dutch Girl" (complete with clogs,) who thrust her tasty treats under your nose whilst you were gathering up your comestibles in the Deli aisle.

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Can you imagine what my C.V. (resume) looked like?

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Now, we all like to "dress up" our job descriptions and exaggerate our talents, but I was having trouble how to include one of my jobs.

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I don't even know if the job had a title as such, but the work entailed standing in a freezing cold barn in the middle of a Brussel Sprout Farm, trimming brussels from their stalks for that well known frozen food processors.

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"Aye, Aye, Captain!

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In the end, I decided that it might be better to leave it off the C.V. altogether.

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That worked fine until I applied for a job at HMP Lincoln Prison. There was a post there as Prison Dental Nurse, my original "trade".

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My Dental certificate was duly examined in detail, and they were completely happy that I had the necessary qualifications. Except for one small thing.............................

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Under the columns for previous employment, (which were obviously full to bursting:o) There was a section on the application form that read......

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"PLEASE INCLUDE DETAILS OF ANY TIME PERIODS NOT MENTIONED IN THE COLUMNS ABOVE."

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"Oh, flippin' 'eck!", I thought, (or some similar expletive not suitable for you dear sweet sensitive Bloggereoos.)

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I decided to leave it blank, and 'wing it' if necessary.

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Of course, just my luck, they spotted my omission.

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"So, Mrs Smith....Would you mind telling us what you were doing for the three months here?"

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He was pointing to a big red ring on my application form looping around the timeframe concerned.

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I don't know where the inspiration came from, and before I knew it, I'd blurted out...........

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"I was working in Brussels"

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YES, I did get the job, you've got to applaud my pluckiness!

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As nerve wracking as that interview was, it pales into insignificance when for years afterwards I had to explain to prospective employers why I was at HMP Lincoln Prison for 7 months during the Summer of 1976!