Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Monkey Made Me Do It!



I can't keep it quiet any longer - I have decided that the time has come for me to come out of the closet.

(Or in my case, "come out of the pantry")

Some of my family read this blog. They are going to be so shocked. I suspect some of them may dis-own me. Once this news leaks out, I will be a marked woman.

People will point and stare at me, I will hear them whispering behind my back. The spotty youth who works on the '10 items or less till' at Tesco's will no longer let me through with 11 purchases.




Oh woe is me! Woe is me!

Why have I decided to 'fess up?

Well, folks are getting curious. The neighbours are wondering what's going on.

They have noticed this..................



and they can't fail to notice this making daily deliveries...................


I'm also beginning to show the evidence of my sins...........


The pounds are piling on, so I can't pretend it's not happening.

You see, the thing is................

Well, what I'm trying to say is..............

Oh! Dammit, this is so difficult............

What I want to tell everyone is...........

No, no, no - I'm not pregnant!

It's just that I have a secret addiction and it's getting out of control.

I am a slave to my cravings.

I've tried to stop, honest I have. But you see, I'm totally addicted to

to.......

to.......





COCO POPS!

I hope that all my dear sweet bloggeroos will bear with me whilst I am trying to give up.

I've tried Cold Turkey, but yer know - it just doesn't taste the same.

(Not even if I cover it in salad cream!)

I've found an online support group.

It's called "Get The Monkey Off Your Back"

Anyway I've joined, and they've already sent me a Coco Pops Cessation Pack.

This comprises of a helpful hints and tips leaflet, here's an excerpt..........

Lock away your usual cereal bowls and all dessert spoons.

If you really must have some Coco Pops, use only a sundae dish and the smallest teaspoon you can find.

Wear the enclosed t-shirt - this will help you to remain focussed




If all else fails use the STOP patches that is included in your pack


I decided to try the patches. I assumed they were probably impregnated with Coco Pop extract, to help with the cravings.




I had it stuck on my arm for 3 days.

It was no help whatsoever!

I went on their Help Forum Message Board this afternoon.

Apparently, I'd completely got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

You're supposed to use the patches like this....................



Come on then you lot!

Tell me YOUR secret addictions - I DARE YOU!


9 comments:

jackanne said...

HELLO MY NAME IS JACKIE AND I AM A FABRICAHOLIC....AND A MAGAZINEAHOLIC....THERE ITS OUT IN THE OPEN AND I FEEL SO GOOD!!XX

karen said...

My name is Karen.... I am a wallpaperholic. I feel the compulsion to want to prettify everything with wallpaper, including the insides of cupboards, drawers, frames, books, yes even walls at times. I Love it soooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!It is too late for me, so go and save yourselves!1111111111

Coco loves vintage said...

My little thing is Mcdonalds strawberry milkshake mmm had one today in-fact :) I craved it through my last pregnancy, found myself going through the drive-thru on the midnight hour to get my fix, once the machine was broken, I screamed at the boy behind the counter " for god's sake! I am a pregnant woman, I have needs" my little boy, now 20 months, won't eat the food, but is partial to the strawberry milkshake :)

Lalabibaby said...

I am a clutterholic ..... collector of crap (my DDs words) and what I wouldn't give for an old fashioned pantry Sue .... good luck with giving up the CPs xx

BeautifulDees said...

I'm a blog aholic!!!!!!!!! I love it and this post cracked me up too funny gal's.
Love ya,Debbie

BLONDEDESIGN said...

Ha! Great artile, new to your blog so a big hello.
My addiction is sad lonely old chairs in Junk shops, that make their way home with me...................much to the dispair of Hubby.
Kx

KC'sCourt! said...

Another wonderful very very funny post, and Shhhh! don't tell anyone, I'm just about to have a bowl of cocoa pops for my lunch!

Kelly said...

I am adicted to make up! The MAC website is like porn to me! I'm serious!!!!

shirley said...

I can`t get coco pops here but my closest is Le special K with big chocolat flakes.............naughty but not so naughty as its special k!!!!!
Well that`s my theory and Im sticking to it!