More Fun and Frolics at Audrey's Party............

When we all go to my Mum and Dad's for our weekly Saturday Brunch, (otherwise referred to as "Audrey's Party") it tends to get a bit crowded.

There are 12 "regulars" Sometimes there are more of us if my youngest son and family, or my other niece and her family are in Lincoln for the weekend.

There are only two rooms downstairs, so the blokes sit in the Living Room, ladies in the Kitchen.

Tea and sandwiches flow freely, so luckily there are two toilets!

It's amazing how often Mandy, Kath and me turn up wearing the same colour top. Dad always make a quip like "Here they all come....................

The Beverley Sisters

or...........

Diana Ross and the Supremes

or even ...........

"Wilson Kepple and Betty" (see this funny link here)

One Saturday, Mandy and me were chatting in the garden, admiring the flowers...............

When I went back into the house I said

"There's a beautiful Camelia just under the window."

"Oooh where? Let me have a look." said Kath excitedly.

I took her outside and pointed to it.

"Where?" she asked.

"There look" I told her.

"I can't see it."

"Here look! Here!" I poked it impatiently with my finger.

Kath smiled and nodded her head,

"Ohhhh, CAMELIA!"

I was very puzzled, "What did you think I'd said?"

Kath went red in the face and answered,

"I thought you said 'CHAMELEON', aren't I daft?"

Yep, Kath - you are!

Audrey's Party & the Number 11 Bus

Before I continue rambling on about our Fun & Frolics at Mum and Dad's house, I forgot to add something to the bottom of the previous post about the imaginary bus of our childhood, so here it is.

It's about the red pebble in Mumsie and Daddio's house. The one stuck in between the bricks in the passage, otherwise known as the Number 11 Bus, the pretend bus of our childhood.

I mentioned that the passage had always been a bus, I repeat "always". It still is! Not literally of course. But, because it still is the bus, everytime one of the family go up the passage we "press the bell" to "stop the bus". (Did I mention some of us are on medication?)

This is great fun, particularly on a Saturday afternoon when we're all leaving there, each of us pressing the bell when we get to "our stop". Mumsie always sees each of us off, and it drives her mad!

I know that I've mentioned before that we all go to my parents house for Saturday Buffet Lunch, otherwise known as "Audrey's Party". (Audrey is Mum's name).

This doesn't just happen occasionally, this is every Saturday. ALL OF US.

Apart from Mumsie and Daddio there is........................

My brother and his wife

My sister and her husband

Me

My son and his wife and baby daughter

(My other son, wife and children who live away come about once a month)

Neice number one and her boyfriend

(Sometimes Neice number two, her husband and little boy who also live away.)

Taylor and George - 2 delightful little boys, grandsons of my Brother-in-law.

It's absolute bedlam, all the men congregate in the living room and us girls in the kitchen. The children fit in where they can.

As you can imagine, when we're all there - there's a lot of mobiles going off intermittently.

Mum recognises each and every ringtone and message bleep. When we're eating our lunch, my mum sits just a bit away from the rest of us, enough that she can see us. (A bit like a teacher in charge of a class.)

As everyones' conversations are going on, when someone's 'phone goes off, Mumsie puts her hand up to halt all the chatter. Then she listens and when she's worked out whose 'phone it is, so as not to put a break into anyone's ramblings, she just points to you.

Last week seemed a particularly busy Saturday mobile-wise, and throughout the chatter four 'phones all went off in quick sucession...............

Mandy's 'phone goes off

Mum holds up her hand to halt the chatter, listens for a sec, then points to Mandy

Laura's 'phone goes off

Mum points to Laura

Annmarie's 'phone goes off

Mum points to Annmarie

My 'phone goes off

Mum points to me.

"Bloody Hell", Mum says "I feel like I'm conducting the flaming Orchestra."

In my next post, I will be telling the tale of my partner, Liam, God rest him and his imaginary girlfriend.

I bet you can't wait!!!!

Fun and Frolics at Audrey's Party

I tell this tale in the hope that it will give you some idea of my family's ethos and culture. (Oooooh, don't I sound edukated today?)

The family Saturday Brunch takes place almost every weekend at my parent's house and is otherwise known as "Audrey's Party" (Audrey is Mumsie's name) . It is a source of joy and merriment. Their home is a haven of peace and tranqillity (but only when us lot aren't there.) We support each other in times of crisis and despondancy, we cheer each other up, we lend each other money, (Did I just hear a violin?) But for all that, we do love a good laugh at the expense of another family member.

So, following yesterday's crisis with my hairstyle, and the hairdresser being on honeymoon - I was not looking forward to facing the loopy loons this morning.

Oi! you there at the back sniggering. Stop it immediately!

I'll continue now if you've stopped giggling, you ingrates!

I purposely went later than usual. I had hoped that some of the Smart Mouths had already had their fill of cheese baps and wagon wheels and gone home.
No such luck!

DAD :"Ha ha ha! Do you want to take your hat off?"
(Why did I ever tell them about my dental trauma? see previous post)

ELDEST SON:"Who did this to you? Do you want me to beat them up?"

ICKLE DITDER:"Would you like to borrow my pashmina, it's got a hood? Ha ha ha!"

ME:"OK! OK! IT'S NOT FUNNY" I squeal into my mansize Kleenex. I continue through my sobs "YOU'RE NOT BIG AND YOU'RE NOT CLEVER"..........(That was a fib actually 'cos my eldest son is both!)

The nearest I got to any sympathy was when Mumsie cooed, : "Oh you poor dear would you like to hide in Dad's shed?"

DADDIO: "Steady on there, Manageress" (his pet name for Mum). "She can't go in there. The finches are nesting and the red factor canaries are still settling in."

BROTHER NUT: Now then Our Susie, buck up. It's not like a whacky hairstyle will harm your youthful good looks, that already happened years ago."

This is supposed to make me feel better?

He continued "I've always thought you such a plucky old girl. You're brave - you open letters from your Bank Manager, and perform other such daring deeds. You open the door to Jehovah's Witnesses and don't hide behind the sofa with the rest of us."

ICKLE DITDER: Would you feel better if you had a cuppa tea?

ME: (Wiping me nose on Mumsie's pinny,)Yeah that'd be great!

ICKLE DITDER: Oh well, in that case, I'll have one if you're making a brew.

BROTHER NUT: And me.

ELDEST SON: Go on then, you twisted me arm.

DADDIO: Did I hear someone's put the kettle on - I'm parched.

I'm standing in the corner where we make the tea, I have my back to them. Do they really think I can't hear them softly whistling "Send in the Clowns".