Sunday, December 5, 2010

Christmas Crackers....................


Hello my dear Bloggeroos!

Did you enjoy the snow?

I didn't even set foot outside my front door.

Luckily, I inherited the food hoarding gene from dear old Mumsie.

I always have loads of tins in my food cupboard, along with several cartons of UHT milk and four loaves of part baked bread.

As an added bonus - I've spent no money! (Except on my gas bill - oops!)

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Just like many people - I love Christmas.

For those of you making your own Christmas Crackers - here are some great cheesy jokes.



Why don't penguins fly?...........................





Because they're not tall enough to be pilots.

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What did Mrs Santa say when she caught Santa with a cigarette?






Put that out - Don't you know smoking's bad for your elf?


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What do you get if you eat tinsel?



Tinsellitis, of course!


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Why does Santa have three gardens?






So he can hoe, hoe, hoe!


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What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?




Frostbite!


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What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in the chimney?





Claustrophobia!


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Right, that's the crackers taken care of, but a couple more jokes to lift your spirits..............


SANTA: Doctor, Doctor! I've got a mince pie stuck up my bum.

DOCTOR: Don't worry - I've got just the right cream for that.








and finally.....................






I hope you're enjoying your Christmas preparations.

Don't forget to pop back soon, will you?

8 comments:

VintageVicki said...

:) You've done it again - made me chuckle so loudly that my family are giving me odd looks ;)

Our snow has all gone - sort of hoping it stays that way for a few weeks.

ted and bunny said...

just popped over to say thankyou for all your support and lovely comments...read the "jokes" and now I'm beginning to wish I'd stayed away!!
Only joking- like Vicki I was chuckling so much, even the cat came to see what was up!
xx

Rose H (UK) said...

Even the cat is giving me strange looks as I'm laughing loudley!
Thanks for the chuckle on such an otherwise miserable day.

Pink Feather Paradise said...

You are such a giggle... and the snow has all gone here we have had thick fog all day... and its starting to freeze out there now... I think I prefered the snow! lol

Popping around mum and dads tomorrow to put up the decorations... and get my decs that are in her garage! lol

hugs Alex x

Autumn Mist said...

ROFLOL! I don't know how you do it. I've been thinking of you during the snow as I know Lincs always gets it bad.

Sandi said...

Hehehe, I love your jokes, perfect for the crackers.
Hope you have been keeping warm, we are of course having warm weather here, although it is very wet this summer of ours so far.
xx Sandi

Sandie's Patch said...

I'd just got over a coughing 'bout when I read the cracker jokes and your post....good job I've got a jumbo toilet roll(cheaper than tissues and I also have a pot of vaseline for my sore nose and lips!)
I suppose you'll have to go stock up again, ready for the next round of snow?!
Take care,

Sandie xx

Flaming Nora said...

my boys loved the truly cheesy jokes! well done for setting us off for the day with a smile on our faces.