No Flies on Me!

Hello my dear Bloggeroos!

I have now returned from my journey up North.

When I returned last week, I was just about to read through my mail, when I realised that there was an intruder in my living room...................

"Oh No! How awful!"

I hear you cry.............

Please don't worry, my dear friends.

I am a Woman of Substance.............

I have NO fear............

I always make sure I have my FIVE A DAY

(Gosh! This new medication is wonderful stuff!)

Luckily, I am trained in Self Defence and my late partner, Liam, left me his old Motorbiker's Leathers.

So, without further ado, I nipped round the back of the sofa and slipped them on..........

They were a bit tight........but I managed to slip them on over my Janet Reger silk undies by using some of my favourite moisturiser............

(Note to self: Cut down on those chocolate Waggon Wheels.)

I came out looking just like Cathy Gale in the Avengers.............

I did.......HONEST!

I ran across to the intruder, rolled up copy of Country Life in hand...................

............and I whacked him,

and whacked him,

and whacked him again.............

I looked down........................

There he was.........................

Lying dead..............

on me tufted Wilton....................

The only thing left to do now, is to dispose of the body.....................................

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I HATE spiders, don't you?

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