Monday, August 8, 2011

No Flies on Me!




Hello my dear Bloggeroos!

I have now returned from my journey up North.

When I returned last week, I was just about to read through my mail, when I realised that there was an intruder in my living room...................


"Oh No! How awful!"

I hear you cry.............

Please don't worry, my dear friends.

I am a Woman of Substance.............






I have NO fear............


I always make sure I have my FIVE A DAY





(Gosh! This new medication is wonderful stuff!)








Luckily, I am trained in Self Defence and my late partner, Liam, left me his old Motorbiker's Leathers.

So, without further ado, I nipped round the back of the sofa and slipped them on..........








They were a bit tight........but I managed to slip them on over my Janet Reger silk undies by using some of my favourite moisturiser............







(Note to self: Cut down on those chocolate Waggon Wheels.)



I came out looking just like Cathy Gale in the Avengers.............





I did.......HONEST!


I ran across to the intruder, rolled up copy of Country Life in hand...................







............and I whacked him,





and whacked him,





and whacked him again.............



I looked down........................



There he was.........................



Lying dead..............



on me tufted Wilton....................







The only thing left to do now, is to dispose of the body.....................................



....................................


.............




I HATE spiders, don't you?



***************

Don't forget to leave a comment to be in the draw
for the free Cath Kidston Bag giveaway click on the link to enter.

Back soon!

8 comments:

Marilyn said...

OMG.... I am in stitches!!
Have a Wonderful Day!!
Marilyn

KC'sCourt! said...

I am laughing so much I am crying - I hate spiders too but I just use a large beer mug with a handle (it must have a handle) and a piece of thin card! Place beer mug over said creature and gently ease card between mug and whatever it is seated on and carefully upturn mug keep card over the opening of mug a walk carefully to the outside world's furthest point the bottom of the garden and then up turn mug and let the said creature drop to the gound! It OK they land on all eight legs together!

Pink Feather Paradise said...

Oh your hilarious... if the giant house spiders are coming back in it must be getting on for Autumn... I am also a "glass and card" trapping kinda gal... lol

xx

Isobel said...

This is such a funny post!! Yes, I do hate spiders. They give me the creeps!!
xx

Rose H (UK) said...

Ooo, you are a torment!
I favour the Dyson method myself - love watching them whizz round and round ;o)

Sandie said...

Sue Dollytub! This is one time I can't laugh (apart from the thought of you 'slipping' into Liam's leathers!).
Didn't your wise Mum say, "If you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive"? I'm shocked!
I always keep a jam jar and a postcard handy to scoop 'em up and then put them outside, the smaller ones I pick up and put outside.

No bad dreams,
Sandie xx

Sandi said...

Hehe, slippin on the leathers and then whacking it with a rolled up paper. Good to see you back!!
xx Sandi

VintageWantsNotNeeds said...

I actually do not mind spiders, they eat the nasty flies but I do have a problem with bees...to see what I mean slip over to my blog....