Love Thy Neighbour..............................

Do you love thy neighbour?

I try to, really I do.................

I went to Sunday School at the Salvation Army....

The high school I went to had a daily Church of England service, and a service at Lincoln Cathedral three times a year.................

Oh!..........and not forgetting that , having long fair hair, I was an Angel three times in the Nativity Plays at Primary School................("Fear not! I bring tidings of great joy!")

"Yes, Lord - it's ME again! Shall I cut my hair?"

But sometimes, just sometimes....................it's not that easy is it?

The neighbours round here, f'rinstance................

They're a bit strange sometimes, although this isn't really surprising................

I've definitely lived in better places.

I blame the kids, mainly................

There sooooooo unruly.................

They hunt in packs................

They chase all the dogs!................

.................and when the kids catch them - they BITE the poor old mutts!

Fortunately, the three local "Bobbies" usually keep them in order............

But, even so.............there is, very often, outbreaks of vandalism and petty thieving.

(As well as the dog-biting!)

Yesterday afternoon, when I got back from my parents' house (A.K.A. Headquarters).

I'd no sooner parked up on the drive, when the woman from over the road shouted,

"Aye up, Duck! Can I borrow your step ladder?"

(To those who know me personally - yes! this is the same woman who treats my pantry like a corner shop and has borrowed all of my Bisto, asked for 'a dab of marge' and took 500gms of Lupak best butter, and when I joked that she should help herself to my Aunt Bessie's actually took them! So, yes - it's her!)

Her seven year old was up on the flat roof over her bay window.

Apparently, on Friday night, the local oikes had stolen the lead of the roof.

Her little boy was up there, trying to weather-proof it with a tarpaulin.

He had scrambled up there and his Mum was trying to pass him up some bricks to weigh the tarpaulin down.

She couldn't reach him - hence the request of the step ladder.

"Yeah, no problem," I shouted, "Can you give me a hand? They're old and quite heavy."

Before I'd even got the key in the door, she arrived at the side of me, quicker than a rat up a drainpipe!

I could see she was eyeing up the cake in my shopping basket, so I gave her a

"Don't even think about it" stare.

We took the ladder over to her house, and passed the bricks up to her lad.....................

He laid them on the tarpaulin - job done!

"YAY!" (high fives all round.)

Our elation was short lived, however............

We realised that the little lad was now stuck.

It had been easy enough to climb up there, but it was too big a drop, even to the step ladder.

Now, sometimes.........................I live under the delusion that I'm clever.

But, this really is ONLY a delusion and I DO take tablets for it.

I had the wonderful(?) idea to fetch my old dining chair..............

I came back with the chair and passed it up to the little lad...............

I then instructed his Mum to go inside the house and help him climb through the front bedroom window.

Ta Derrrr!

I collapsed the step ladder and took it back to my house.

I really felt like I'd done my good deed for the day.

The neighbour was in her house with her little boy.........................

all was right with the world.........................

until I looked across to her house and I noticed the flaw in my plan.............................

oooops!

God only knows how I'll retrieve it - it's too near the wall for me to reach it, even from the step ladder.

Sometimes, I'm my own worst enemy..............................

I'm dying my hair later........................

erm.................Blonde, I think!

Don't forget to pop back, will you?