Sunday, January 24, 2010

Mr Dollytub, Meeso, and her three little sisters.

I think I may have mentioned that although the late Mr Dollytub, (Liam) and I were partners for 8 years, we didn't actually live together. His house was round the corner from mine, and since having to give up my full time job, we ate all our meals together and spent most of our time generally driving each other up the wall and laughing like hyenas as we both shared a quirky sense of humour.
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Because of my ebaying (restoring/selling of 1950's dolls) and regular jaunts to stay with my son and his family , there were times when it was necessary for him to spend some of his time alone.
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He would put on his best "Eeyore" voice and say "No, you go. I'll be fine. Don't you worry about me, I'll get little Meeso to pop round and 'do' for me."
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Truth is, with or without his imaginary companions, he quite enjoyed the peace!
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On my return with his wonderful imagination, and his inherited Irish "Blarney", he would tell me such tall stories of his naughty little goings on with his small, but perfectly formed imaginary girlfriend, Meeso, (surname Horny.)
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After I'd been away for more than a few days, he would tell me tales on the 'phone about having to "call in his reinforcements" i.e. Meeso's three, equally rampant and obliging sisters.
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So, one day when I arrived back from my son's, I 'phoned him.
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He was obviously expecting my call, so he answered the 'phone with a high pitched female tone, with just the hint of an accent.
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"Hello, this is Mister Liam's house, Meeso speaking."
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"Oh it's you," I answered brusquely."Is the master at home?"
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"Just a second, I'll check."
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He shouts off into the distance in as girly a voice as he could muster....."Mister Liam, Mister Liam, it's that North End of Town Slapper on the 'phone for you."
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(I originate from the top end of the City. Cheek!)
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He would then clear his throat, and in his nicest speaking voice would say, "Hello?" and the conversation would carry on from there
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He was hilarious, and it was even funnier when he accidently did it to my Mum when she 'phoned him!
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One particular time when I was going to be away for a whole week, we were doing our last minute checks, keys, my train ticket etc.
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"I hope that dirty little trollop Meeso and her sisters aren't coming round whilst I'm gone or I will not be very happy, I can tell you." I said.
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He tried to placate me, "Swampy," (his pet name for me. )"They're not real. "
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He continued very slowly as if he's talking to an idiot, "Meeso's an imaginary maid, not real, as in 'made up'."
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"I don't care if she's imaginary or not. I've got all the neighbours keeping a close eye on you whilst I'm gone. If I find out that she's been teetering down the avenue in her fishnets and high heels clip clip clipping round to your place, there'll be BIG trouble!"
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"Clip, clip, clip?" he asked incredulously. "Surely you mean 'click, click, click'"
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"Same difference!" I sniffed.
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"No. She definitely makes the sound click, click, click...........................................................................
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After all, ............................." he continued
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she's a slapper not a hairdresser."
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We always said we should have recorded our conversations.
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You can't write rubbish like that!
IT'S SO NICE TO SEE ALL MY DEAR BLOGGEROOS AFTER MY LONG ABSENCE, MANY THANKS FOR YOUR KIND MESSAGES.
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK ALL THIS WEEK'S PREVIOUS POSTINGS, WILL YOU?

4 comments:

Floss said...

Wild!

I used to get weird (but not sexy) responses when I answered the phone as a child, because my elderly grandpa lived with us and he and his joky pals used to say stuping things like: 'Is the master within?' when I answered. I was traumatised!

Sue at Dollytub Cottage said...

Hi Floss, How scarey for a little girl. The things we do to our children. One day, I'll write about when my son aged 4 ended up with his face pushed into his spaghetti. Of course (ex) hubby said it was an accident. I bet!

Vintage to Victorian at Dairy House Antiques said...

Hi Sue

Such a shame you're so far away. So nice to see you back. Stay longer this time!

Sue

Menopausal musing said...

"Meeso" was a brilliant piece of fiction, wasn't she? :O))))))