Ready for Christmas Yet?.................

Well, my dear Bloggeroos, I don't know about you, but I've been sooooooo busy........and not just with Christmas!

We had one of our usual family parties, Disco, Buffet, Karaoke last weekend. It was my brother's birthday - what a great evening we had!

My youngest son and his family were here for the Party and stayed at Dollytub Cottage for the weekend too.

I notice that eldest son had put on his facebook yesterday

"Only one more sleep 'til the end of term!"

We know that, Ali - but get a grip -You're the TEACHER!

So grandchildren have been babysat, played with and cuddled.

Mince Pies have been baked.

(I'm not here for Christmas, but chances are my neighbour will soon be over to borrow some - she borrows everything else from my pantry!)

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A FEW HINTS AND TIPS IF YOU HAVE VISITORS FOR CHRISTMAS...........

1) Make sure you have enough chairs

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2) Do you have plenty of beer? We're okay..........

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3) Have you chosen age-appropriate gifts?

A Barbie for Granny?

or perhaps........................?

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4) Remember to use tact and diplomacy with visitors at all times

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5) Don't forget to look after your pets,

..............exercise..............

................not too much stress.....................

and don't forget to include them in the fun......................

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6) Make sure you cater for any special diets...................

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................and speaking of food..............

....................be extra careful when dealing with leftovers............

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........saved food can be NASTY!!!!!

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7) Prepare the turkey in plenty of time

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I'm sure you'll have a lovely Christmas!

Thank you to all my Bloggeroos for your shared friendship over the last year

You have no idea how much I appreciate your help and support

Friends help one another

I LOVE YOU ALL! (ooops! that'll be the meds kicking in.)

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Before I go, a few seasonal jokes for your enjoyment........................

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I may be away from t'internet for a coupla weeks, but I'll see you in the New Year.

I'm just popping out to Asda's.

I think I need to change the headphones I bought for my son..................

Not quite what he had in mind?

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Tell Me - Have I Fallen of the Wagon?.................

Hello, my dear Bloggeroos!

I need you to settle an argument...............

Do you remember when I wrote a post about my addiction to Coco Pops? click here.

Well, the other day BFF Carol came round and went crazy at me. I don't know why.

I wasn't eating Coco Pops.

What I was eating was a bowl of.............................

In my opinion - I have NOT fallen off the wagon!

And anyway..............

These aren't Coco Pops.

They were on special offer.

I only bought FIVE boxes.

Besides..............

I eat them standing up.

Any serial (or should I say cereal?) dieter knows that means these calories don't count!

But, Carol was so insistent to "save me from myself" that she put this on me before she left............

She's a daft woman...................

She didn't realise that the Choco Flakes fit through the slits! HA!

And if I really can't wait for the flakes to soften up, there's always my trusty..........................

So my dear Bloggeroos -

Which one of us is right?

Have I fallen off the wagon?

A Change is as Good as a Rest........................

I suppose you've guessed by now that I'm taking a bit of a rest..............

As you can see, the maid is just giving me a quick pedicure before my guest arrives for afternoon tea.

I just don't seem to be able to think straight at the moment........

Maybe it's because.............

I have a terrible cold, or.........

I'm excited at the prospect of my new grandchild, due any day now......

However, to keep our chuckle muscles firmly flexed - I've been having a clearout of a few funny pics I've managed to collect over the last few months.

I thought you might enjoy some of them.

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Right then! Who's for chocolate?

This photo brought a smile to my face......................

Heee! Heeeee!

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I've also got some new inventions to show you............

This one would come in handy when using Public Toilets. After all we don't want to leave our little ones unattended outside the loo, do we?

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What about this for when you're feeling depressed.............

A Prozac Pillow - how inventive is that?

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My favourite new invention is the Magic Mirror, courtesy of Jenny at winnibriggshouse

(it was attached to an email from her promoting Breast Cancer Awareness.)

Oooooh - I want one!

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So, my dear bloggeroos, I will be back soon. Bear with me - I so appreciate your friendship and support.............

I'd better go...........David's knocking at the door, ready for his afternoon tea.

Yes! Of course it's David TENNANT.

(Well he's got nothing better to do since he handed over the keys to the Tardis!)

After his tea - he's going to help me get me drawers down..........

NOOOOOOOOO!

Not those kinda drawers.

I need to move some furniture from my bedroom to the living room......

Back soon!

Happiness is a Journey, not a Destination!

All is well here at Dollytub Cottage.

I have many more humorous tales to tell, but I am giving my chuckle muscle a little rest today.

My next blogpost will be my 100th posting, so I would like to take a moment to reflect on my life since first starting my blog in April 2009.

I had been following YOUR blogs for a few months, and thought I would like to give it a try myself.

At that time , I was in a very scary place emotionally. I had lost my life partner Liam to cancer five months earlier. I must admit that I felt as though I had slid into an alternative universe where my life no longer made any sense. I found that using my brain to create my tales very therapeutic, and gave me something else to think about.

However, distraction from our problems can only be a temporary solution, and after about a dozen posts, my mood took an even worse nose dive. The true reality of my situation at being without my soulmate hit me.

I gave up my blogging for several months, and needed oodles of support from friends and family whilst coming to terms with my changed circumstances. In particular, my BFF Carol, my sister Mandy, and my sons were all so instrumental in my recovery.

I began to feel a little better after Christmas, so I started my blogging again.

Since then, I continue to improve. You, my dear bloggeroos have also had your part to play in my return to normality.

I would like to thank you for all the comments and emails you have sent me. I really do appreciate them.

As my next post is my 100th one. I have written a very special story for you, so don't forget to pop back, will you?

Losing Our Marbles?

As I've finished my packing in plenty of time before I jet off to my Spring Retreat - (Millionaires' Row Filey, Yorkshire,) I thought I'd just tap out this blogpost for you.

I won't be gone long and as soon as I get back, I will be giving an update on how I'm doing with my Coco Pops addiction.

Many of you will know of my BFF Carol. We have been friends since we were three years old.

Over the years we have got up to all sorts of pranks and scrapes.

The following tale is a prime example of our fearlessness, recklessness, and some may say, downright stupidity.

One particular day, we were in the school playground. We decided to play "Fairies". We each took our arms out of our cardigan sleeves, and fastened the top button.

We ran round flapping our arms gently, the sleeves acting as our "wings".

We got a bit bored at this point, so we looked around for a game to join in with.

First of all, we watched and wondered about joining in a game of 'kiss chase'.

This game had always been our favourite. There were already loads of girls chasing the boys.

We wouldn't get a look in, so it wasn't really an option.

So, we left them to it!

Then we saw a game of marbles going on. We wanted to join in, but Carol and I had no marbles.

We solved this problem by each of us retrieving from our pockets some brightly coloured gobstoppers we'd bought half an hour ago.

We had 3 each, enough to muscle in on the game.

For a while we got away with the substitution until it started to drizzle with rain, and the boys noticed that our 'marbles' were changing colour!

They shouted at us.......

"Booooooo, booooooooooo! Clear off!"

Then we saw some kids doing handstands.

It looked like fun but I wasn't too keen. Nevertheless, we both tucked our dresses under the leg elastic of our knickers to protect our modesty. I did the little hop and skip required on such occasions, but my nerves got the better of me, and I was unable to do it. As always, Carol managed to do two handstands!

My lifelong fear of Earth's gravity is a terrible thing!

Carol and I looked around us to see what else caught our fancy. We both spotted the tree at the same time and with great enthusiasm we announced in unison,

"LET'S CLIMB THE TREE!!!!"

This was a brilliant idea, particularly as we still had our dresses tucked up into our knickers.

We started pulling at the lads who were in the tree, trying to 'persuade' them to get out of the tree and let us have a go.

They were trying to kick us away and shouting "Geroff!"

As I was pulling at one lad's jumper, Carol poked me with her elbow,

"Watch out! Now we're in trouble"

We saw the headmistress running over towards us.

Boy! was she angry.

"I can't believe my eyes!" She hissed at us.

"Carol and Susan, I presume?"

Carol and I stood there, head bowed, shuffling our feet and trying to avoid her gaze.

"Yes, Miss." we whispered in reply.

"Your reputation precedes you. I hear Miss Newton had to take you two to task only last week whilst I was at a Conference." She raved.

"Well?" she barked, "What have you got to say for yourselves?"

"Sorry, Miss." we chorused.

"Stand up straight the pair of you! I wish you would behave yourselves." she continued.

"Go home, now!"

Even though she had banished us, we showed little fear and walked towards the school gates, giggling.

She called after us...............

"Oi!"

We stopped and turned round.

She shouted after us............................

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"GRANNIES OF YOUR AGE SHOULD KNOW BETTER, AND FOR GOODNESS' SAKE TAKE YOUR DRESS OUT OF YOUR KNICKERS!"

SPONSORED BY TENA LADY

I'm Loving Angels Instead - Part One

Now that I live alone since Mr Dollytub passed away, it is necessary for me to set up a "Help" Network.

There are many jobs, both large and small that we all need help with from time to time. Usually this help is from our "other half" . Or sometimes our dads, if they're young and fit enough.

My Dad may well be fit enough, but likes to conserve his energy for our very frequent family celebrations.

(You may have read in a previous post that my dear old Daddio needs all of his energy. Not only does he have Mum to consider, but also his 'girlfriend' Janet. )

see here

No!......not THAT, I mean on the dancefloor!

In my case I needed to find a trustworthy car mechanic to keep me on four wheels.

Now, for some reason, it has always been my experience that when a car mechanic is looking at a lady's car, they always tut-tut, shake their heads, and then do that sucky thing they do whilst taking a sharp intake of breath.

Then they make unhelpful comments, like...........

"What muppet did this for you last time, luv?"

and

"Well, I can do it, but it's gonna cost yer."

And then, to compound our misery, when you ask when they can do it, they flick the pages in their diary, back and forth, and come out with something stupid like,

"I can do it for you the Candlemas after next, but you'll have to bring it early."

"Early" to a car mechanic means after half past nine when they've eaten a hearty breakfast at

Gwen's Cafe. (Pronounced "Caff" a la Eastenders)

So, imagine my joy, when my BFF, Carol told me that her brother-in-law is a mechanic.

I was so happy, I could have done a few cartwheels, but not with my back!

His name is Les. His nickname is "Brum".

I thought that was a clever nickname, like what we call a car when we're little kids, ........

Brum, Brum.

But when I heard to him on the 'phone, I realised that his nickname is because he comes from

Birmingham!

He made no daft comments and even offered to take it for its M.O.T.

He also checked that I had enough anti-freeze in without being asked.

He did the job the very next day, turned up when he said he would, and was very reasonable with his charges.

The day after it was done, he 'phoned Carol to make sure that I was happy with his work!

I was very pleased.

Les is my Angel number 1

Angel number 2 is Kev.

Kev's my decorator, and we've known each other since we were kids.

He decorated my hall, stairs and landing whilst I was away at my son's.

He also got a new light switch fitted for me as I'd mentioned I had a problem with it.

Kev and his missus work together, and I couldn't fault them, and they cleaned up after themselves. His costs were very reasonable.

Kev's a bit of a naughty angel though, this is one of his jokes....

"I only got one question wrong in the Pub quiz last night."

"What was the question?" I asked

"Where have women got the curliest hair?"

I giggled, then he said

"The answer should be ................

.................

AFRICA"

I need all sorts of little jobs doing so I'm just off to put a card in the Newsagent's window.

Local Widow seeks Handy Man, must be fit.

Apply in person to Dollytub Cottage.

That should do it!