What's in my bag!

I wish I could remember which blog lady started the meme

"What's in my bag."

If it's you, or you know who it was, please let me know and I'll edit later.

I have a large bag.

A REALLY large bag.

So large, in fact, that my granddaughter Hollie thinks I bought it from the same shop as Mary Poppins. (Not Blog lady Mary Poppins, the one a.k.a. Julie Andrews.)

Here's what's in mine............

PURSE

As you may know - I am very tight with my money, d'ya like the special lock?

MOBILE PHONE

Not the most up-to-date, but sometimes I can even get my Mum on this beauty,

and she lives at least 4 miles away.

KEYS

I have so many keys, people are always telling me that I should be well locked up

HAIRBRUSH

Only the best quality bristles to tame my cascading locks

HAIRSPRAY

I bought this in Asda's just after I'd broken my specs, now with my reading specs on I see it also kills flies and wasps. How useful - I love multi-products, don't you?

NAIL FILE

Did you know B&Q now sell beauty products?

I've had this one ages, it never seems to wear smooth.

HAND CREAM

You can't beat a quality product can you?

ANTI-BACTERIAL HAND GEL

Dettol's for wimps!

EMERGENCY MAKE-UP

Lipstick (Doubles as blusher)

I do like a LITTLE colour, don't you?

EYE PENCIL

PAINKILLERS & OTHER MEDICATION

*Please see link below for tutorial on Medication Bracelet!

Good job I always carry these with me, without them I can become quite crazy.

Hard to believe, I know.

Last item in my bag - A HATSTAND

Not really, I made that up!

Last of all........

CHEWING GUM

This isn't my usual brand, I also picked this up in Asda's.

Not a lot of flavour, and a bit too chewy for my tastes!

I hope you found that interesting. Perhaps next time I could show the stuff I keep in my pinny pocket. Or maybe you have a suggestion of your own. (Keep it clean!)

*You may like my tutorial on medication here

I can't believe it - I've finally sussed out how to do a link!

Go to Sal's Snippets for a Great Giveaway here

Fun and Frolics at Audrey's Party

I tell this tale in the hope that it will give you some idea of my family's ethos and culture. (Oooooh, don't I sound edukated today?)

The family Saturday Brunch takes place almost every weekend at my parent's house and is otherwise known as "Audrey's Party" (Audrey is Mumsie's name) . It is a source of joy and merriment. Their home is a haven of peace and tranqillity (but only when us lot aren't there.) We support each other in times of crisis and despondancy, we cheer each other up, we lend each other money, (Did I just hear a violin?) But for all that, we do love a good laugh at the expense of another family member.

So, following yesterday's crisis with my hairstyle, and the hairdresser being on honeymoon - I was not looking forward to facing the loopy loons this morning.

Oi! you there at the back sniggering. Stop it immediately!

I'll continue now if you've stopped giggling, you ingrates!

I purposely went later than usual. I had hoped that some of the Smart Mouths had already had their fill of cheese baps and wagon wheels and gone home.
No such luck!

DAD :"Ha ha ha! Do you want to take your hat off?"
(Why did I ever tell them about my dental trauma? see previous post)

ELDEST SON:"Who did this to you? Do you want me to beat them up?"

ICKLE DITDER:"Would you like to borrow my pashmina, it's got a hood? Ha ha ha!"

ME:"OK! OK! IT'S NOT FUNNY" I squeal into my mansize Kleenex. I continue through my sobs "YOU'RE NOT BIG AND YOU'RE NOT CLEVER"..........(That was a fib actually 'cos my eldest son is both!)

The nearest I got to any sympathy was when Mumsie cooed, : "Oh you poor dear would you like to hide in Dad's shed?"

DADDIO: "Steady on there, Manageress" (his pet name for Mum). "She can't go in there. The finches are nesting and the red factor canaries are still settling in."

BROTHER NUT: Now then Our Susie, buck up. It's not like a whacky hairstyle will harm your youthful good looks, that already happened years ago."

This is supposed to make me feel better?

He continued "I've always thought you such a plucky old girl. You're brave - you open letters from your Bank Manager, and perform other such daring deeds. You open the door to Jehovah's Witnesses and don't hide behind the sofa with the rest of us."

ICKLE DITDER: Would you feel better if you had a cuppa tea?

ME: (Wiping me nose on Mumsie's pinny,)Yeah that'd be great!

ICKLE DITDER: Oh well, in that case, I'll have one if you're making a brew.

BROTHER NUT: And me.

ELDEST SON: Go on then, you twisted me arm.

DADDIO: Did I hear someone's put the kettle on - I'm parched.

I'm standing in the corner where we make the tea, I have my back to them. Do they really think I can't hear them softly whistling "Send in the Clowns".